In the midst of her...

Letting him lead...

2012-02-12T18:27:00.001-05:00

So the hubster and I were grocery shopping; now I should tell you, I don't believe in buying groceries weekly or even monthly. My mother raised me to buy in bulk, so I shop basically once every 2-3 months and trust me, it's much cheaper in the long run. Anyway, I digress...lol. So the hubster and I were wholesale shopping at this place and we had bought so much that our groceries were stacked pile high on the crate thingy we were using. After a while, I realized that I was pushing it so I looked over to the hubster and said "Babes, are you just going to let me push this thing?" He looks over at me and says "Babe you've always wanted to be the one pushing it. You know I don't like it but I was just letting you be you"

1 Peter 3:3-4 "...let your adornment... be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

I have mentioned many times that I had always been a ~~feminist~~ strong female and unfortunately it has pushed the hubster into awkward positions. I have always struggled with letting men (besides family) do anything for me because I believed I was capable within myself. When the hubster was still my boyfriend, I would not take any gift worth more than $5 because I wanted him to know I could provide for myself (...and he wasn't that needed.) I was headstrong, proud and stubborn. This progressed for the longest time. I even remember when I was pregnant with baby boy, I REFUSED to allow the hubster to drive me anywhere; as long as we were in my car, I was going to do the driving, even when my belly was competing with my hands for the steering wheel. Shame on me...;(

Habakkuk 2 vs 4:"Look at the proud; his soul is not straight or right within him..."

The problem was the more I refused to let the hubster be a man and took on manly roles, the more it became easier for him to stop stepping up. If there is many heavy lifting, the hubster would say " babe, that box is heavy, let me lift it" I tell you th second he tells me something is too heavy for me, that's the box gan gan that I MUST carry. Unconsciously the point was I was being proud. I had to show him that I could do stuff too, that I wasn't weak, that I was strong! Unconsciously the result was I was competing with the hubster for the role of provider and he systematically got more comfortable leaving me with hard stuff to do.

So, Praise God. Fast forward some years ( ok...ok...21 months...lol) of experiences and God just breaking me down and rebuilding, I have seen how complicated and unfortunate I was making my own life and marriage. God has shown me the results of my previous actions and he has equally shown me the blessing and the fruitfulness my marriage has experienced since I've changed. I now let the hubster be the man and leader he was created to be. I now accept his jacket even if the results means he'll be a bit cold. I let him open my car door for me and honestly, I hardly ever pick up the car keys because being chauffeured is 10x better than being the one driving...lol

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Recap...My winter in England

2012-02-04T19:34:00.000-05:00

Ha, Eyin temi, Please don't be mad at my MIA'ness! As soon as I got back from England, I had just a few days to chill with Baby boy and the hubster before I had to zoom back to work and believe me my January Schedule was CRAZY!!! I have been working 5.30am- 8.30pm 6 days a week and on the
sixth day sef, I was working through the day and overnight and just had the rest of the day after my nightshift off! For 4 weeks! Today was my last day of this crazy shift and I just got home from working overnight. Praise God, they wanted to eat me but God forbade it! Neway, lets leave that rahun rahun aside O'jere!.. I have missed blogging men! There is so much I want to share but I will lay it on you bit by bit!

Highlights from Dec trip to London

1) True friends are priceless! I hadn't physically seen my peeps there in years and we carried on as if, we just saw each other yesterday. We didn't miss a beat...Sharing a bed, eating off each other's plates and making plans for more hook ups.

(Disclaimer: I love the concept of this pic and this girl's smile but as always, I am not the one in the pics I post.)

2) A wedding ring means NOTHING! A wedding band is only as important as you make it out to be. If you "useless it", peeps, guys included, will useless it as well.

Went to a party with my girls and was on the floor breaking it down, when Mr Man comes to yarn into my ear. I told him I was here on vaycay and after flashing the ring, he told me how "lucky" I was to have a hubby who "lets" me out the door let alone out of the country. I guess it was a compliment in a reverse way...lol. The hubster isn't lucky...he's secure. Big difference!

3)There is nothing sexier than being "out the game"

There is something exhilarating about dressing up to the nines and going out with the girls without having to bother about who's looking at me or trying to catch the eye of some dude. Just going out with a secured heart and having fun is priceless. My trip was all about ME! and having fun.

4)You are never on vaycay with God. I went to my girl's bridal shower and being the married woman in the room, the MC asked me to give my girl some advice....uh ooh, who opened the tap? Men after giving them a taste of what God has taught me in my marriage, it turned into nearly 2hrs of Q n A.

I had girls asking me about sex, the in-laws, wether to share an acct with the hubby, infidelity and so on! It turned into a Inthemidstofher live session and to be honest... I loved it. You know I love all things marriage and God!

5)The Hubter was ~~sometimes~~, ~~most of the times~~, 99% right.
I really did need to get away and I came back refreshed and ready to get back on this roller coaster.

Thanks to FaceTime, I got to see and talk to Babyboy and the hubster EVERYDAY; so I didn't miss them as bad. Hubby promises I can "leave"(LOL) the country once a year and I am already looking forward to it! There's Australia, Dubai, India, Japan, Botswana....and the WORLD!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Closing the door behind you...

2012-01-11T16:43:00.000-05:00

Welcome to 2012! I am blessed to have seen the beauty of a new year and I praise God for preserving me and my loved ones. I rang in the New year in England with 2 of my closest friends (Love you sweet cheeks, love you 99999!) in the house of the Lord and it couldn't have been any better.

So we are in a new yr and I am prepped to do big things, my latter has to be better than my former and my first game of attack is closing the door to the past behind me.

I will stop living in the Past...
One of the biggest mistakes I have made and and have been continuously tempted to make is reminiscing about the past. Things I've lost, people who've left me and choices I have come to regret. Turns out that I am not the only one who's down it.

Gen 11 vs 27,28,31,32 (NLT) This is the account of Terah’s family. Terah was the father of Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran was the father of Lot. But Haran died in Ur of the Chaldeans, the land of his birth, while his father, Terah, was still living....One day Terah took his son Abram, his daughter-in-law Sarai (his son Abram’s wife), and his grandson Lot (his son Haran’s child) and moved away from Ur of the Chaldeans. He was headed for the land of Canaan, but they stopped at Haran and settled there. Terah lived for 205 years and died while still in Haran.

Terah, Abram's father had lost a son named Haran and while he was on the way to Canaan, the promised land with all his family, he came into a land named Haran (his dead son's name) and decided to stay there! He stopped in his tracks and decided to live in a land that must have constantly reminded him of his dead son. He ultimately died there without ever making it to the promised land.

Keep Moving...
I am now promising myself to close the door to my past. I refuse to be Terah, who couldn't let go of his past even if meant missing his destiny. It might mean saying good bye to people, ending certain friendship or just coming to peace about certain situations; but whatever it means, I am ready to do it. Ready to step up and be all that I was created to be.

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel

To the forgotten...

2011-12-27T10:35:00.006-05:00

As the year draws to an end and the festivities come upon on us. I wondered what post to end the year with. I have a lot of items I've been working on and so excited to share with you guys but God has laid it upon my heart to do something different. I want to dedicate this last post of 2011 to the forgotten of the season; to the broken hearted. Not too many winters ago, I was among the ones struggling and even though God has brought me through it; my heart still reaches out to the hurting.

I am dedicating this post to the heartbroken, the depressed, the rejected, the lonely, the abused and the weak. The ones who feel alone in a crowded room, the ones who cry themselves to sleep, the ones who wonder how they'll make it through another day, the ones who pray for death to come but are making their own plans just in case it doesn't. I see you and so does God. He loves you SO much and wants you to know that even if your mother and father forsake you, he never will. I know it's hard but this christmas is not about gifts, friends, or even family. This season is about the Valentines gift God is giving you. It's about so rich a love that he would sacrifice his own son so that one day, you would dwell in his peace for eternity.

I want to let you know that even though it seems the world has forgotten you and no one cares, God is there and he loves you very much. I want you to hold on just a bit longer and wait for that break through you are seeking. I know it is much easier said than seen but God has a magnificent plan for you life and even thought the nights seem so long and lonely,daylight is just upon the horizon.

I am adding a video that I love and listen to when I don't feel my best. I hope it ministers to you.

Lyrics
My world is closing in
On the inside
But I’m not showing it
When all I am is crying out
I hold it in and fake a smile
Still I’m broken
I’m broken
Only one can understand
And only one can hold the hand
Of the broken
Of the broken

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in your arms
Again

I need no explanation of why me
I just need confirmation
Only You could understand the
emptiness inside my head
I am falling
I am falling
I’m falling down upon my knees
To find the one who gives me peace
I am flying
Lord I am flying

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in Your arms
Again

I have come to you in search of faith
Cause I can’t see beyond this place
Oh You are God and I am man
So I’ll leave it in Your hands

So know someone is out there thinking and praying of you.

"Fear not; you will no longer live in shame.Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you.You will no longer remember the shame of your youth
and the sorrows of widowhood." (Isaiah 54 vs 4)

*Italics- Scripture

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel....

A Time of rest...

2011-12-12T19:55:00.053-05:00

Eccle 3 vs 1: There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens

So in a few days I will be boarding a plane for a whirlwind week of fun with my girlfriends in england! I should be saying yay but honestly, I am heart broken! Ok, let me start from the beginning. So my birthday passed a few months ago and hubster being the great man he is went all out. Besides taking me out to dinnner, I got a great day of shopping and the icing on the cake was a week long trip to Europe...no hubby...no baby boy...Just me and my girls!

Well, since then I've gone through a range of emotions, from doing the happy dance, to going behind the hubster's back to try and cancel the ticket; which turned out to be non refundable. I know... I know...it's crazy but in the midst of (ha..ha..no pun intended) it all, I realized how absolutely achingly hard I was going to miss my boys while I was gone and this made me hesitant and decide not to go. After much debate, the hubster told me that if I truly loved him and baby boy, I needed to go.

...A time to plant

Let me explain...
Doctor or no doctor... I am a FULL time housewife! I cook, clean and care for my family to my utmost. If my boss really knew how many times I've scheduled doctor appointments for baby boy or looked up recipes, or ran last minute errands on company time, they would fire me. I am forever thinking of ways to improve my family's life and if I took one sec to be honest; I am BURNT OUT!

Don't get me wrong, I love what I do but man... I am tired! Early mornings and late nights, cooking with one hand, holding my text book with the other and rocking baby boy on my hip. So after 19 mths of this, hubby felt I deserve some time away. A whole week , not as a doctor, a mom or even as a wife! A week as plain ol' Inthe....an individual without the responsibility of the world on her shoulders.

A time to reap...

If I plan on continuing in the blessings of marriage, I am going to have to learn how to take care of me. I am going to order pizza for the hubster some nights and curl in bed with a good book, I am going to have to learn how to let baby hang with grandma for a weekend and go window shopping. The more refreshed I am, the better a human being and consequently, a better daughter, wife, mom and so forth.

So in a a little while, I'll board a plane and fly away, my heart might be breaking but I'll paste a smile on my face because I know I'll come back happier, refreshed and ready to be all that I am called to be.

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Be right back!

2011-12-03T14:38:00.000-05:00

I have a medical licensing exam in 1 week... its a 16 hr exam spread over 2 days and I really need to hit the books for a while. I am not scared because God has given me the victory. i will be back soon too give my testimony!

Miss me while I am gone!

What Love isn't...

2011-11-23T11:31:00.000-05:00

1- Sex
..."I'm leaving cuz the sex does nothing for me...", "Me? Marry a Virgin ke? God forbid, they don't even know what they are doing"... "If you love me, you'll be willing to show me"..."He is a Virgin? Ah! You better pick race ooh, something must be wrong with him"...( and my personal favorite)"Shebi, we are going to get married eventually, so us starting early is not a sin

If I had $0.25 for every time this rubbish has been spoken, I would be rich. Why do we equate Love and Sex as the same thing? Let me tell you, you could live a million lifetimes without sex, but you wouldn't last just one without love. I have been blessed with so many "baby sisters-in-the Lord" and it's amazing to see how caught up they are in the fantasy of what sex and their wedding day will be like;(I am not hating, I was exactly like them when I was younger...lol). Thanks to the lie making machine called Media; we all have pre-concieved notions on what it has to be like between the sheets. Depending on how...ummmh..."exposed" you've been visually or physically, you start developing standards or expectations for your future mate, without even meeting them yet. How unfair is that nonsense. So you spend your days pre-occupied with the S word, you get married, can't wait to jump into it and when it's all said and done, reality slaps you in the face....depending on the person you married, yoiu might be completely turned off it! After all if you spend the whole day fighting over bills, children, the in-laws and any other issue you were previously blind too, you think you will be in the mood for Sex? Unh-Unh...I don't think so!

PS:Shout all to my peeps (especially men) out there taking a stand for purity in a world where it's viewed as weak or stupid. God sees you and will honor this step of obedience...

2- An emotion
I don't feel it anymore man! When I first met him, i thought about him 24/7, nowadays I can barely feel the heat anymore!

I have found out that Love is an action not an emotion. Want me to prove it? Ok, think about your life, have you CONSTANTLY lived in 1 emotion? As in, can you remember a time where you where happy/sad/angry 24hours straight? if you are honest, you'll say no because emotions fluctuate. You're pissed one sec, then happy the next and then something else. If you see love as another emotion, you'll see it fluctuate also in your life. I don't wait to "feel the love"; I make it happen and determine it in my heart to love the hubster EVERYDAY. It is not easy because we are flawed human beings and some days are harder than the next but I trust God that as I speak my love into my marriage, so shall it be.

3- A group activity
"...Enh, I love Tosin but I also love Segun...But lately Jimoh has been weighing heavy on my mind too. I guess love just comes easy to me sha..."

Last time I checked, Love wasn't a group; activity. It is absolutely unequivocally impossible to love more than one person at the same time. (Disclaimer: Love in the biblical definition, not Mills and Boons). Now i am not saying it's impossible to deleop feelings for multiple people but until you take the time to pray it through and determine what exactly that feeling is, don't call it love.

4-Temporary
"I don't know what happened, but I am done! I just don't love him anymore. I use to feel this hot passion but now...I just don't know. I think it is time to move on. I love him but am not IN love with him"

We walk around with the expectation that love is this "bomb explosion" of butterflies and flowers and dancing in the garden and the pitter patter of your beating heart but the second this ~~love~~ infatuation is over, and it's time for the real work to kick in...we run! Love is hard, love takes work, Love hurts but through it all, Love is BEAUTIFUL! Infatuation/Lust might be temporary but true love isn't.

5-A power struggle
Submit wetin? I am the master of this house as well... No one is going to ride me like a horse

Ok, let's just throw it out there. Men ARE God ordained Leaders of a household. Trust me as a ~~feminist~~ strong minded woman, I have ~~consciously~~ unconsciously tried to find ways around this, but I knew to accept God was to accept all God ordained authority over me. Marriage is honestly a blessing when you follow God's roadmap even when you don't ~~agree~~ understand.

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Dear Inthe...

2011-11-15T16:05:00.004-05:00

You don't know me, but I have been reading your blog for a while now. I need some relationship advice and I see that you are a well grounded Godly married woman. My boyfriend and I have been having some series of issues lately. I love him and I know he loves me as well, but we just can't seem to understand each other. He doesn't speak my love language.
For example, I like being called wifey, and he doesn't think it's appropriate to
use that term unless we are at that stage. Meanwhile we plan on getting
married. He says he's serious about marrying me but cannot really commit to
a timeline. We've been together for over 2 years now. Should I continue in
this relationship or should I let go and let God?
HGF

Dear HGF,
There are a couple of things I want to thank you for. First for being a faithful reader of ITMOH, secondly for the compliments ( It's all God!)and most importantly than the rest, for the trust and giving me the privilege to come into your life and give advice. I know you want the truth, so I will not patronize you but giving you anything less. As you know that this is a Christian blog, you already can assume that my answers will be from a Christian standpoint; I will also assume that you are a Christian because I believe a relationship without God in between is pointless.I am going to speak the truth because you deserve it and treat this issue like you are my very own sister. Thank you again!

My boyfriend and I have been having some series of issues lately. I love him and I know he loves me as well, but we just can't seem to understand each other. He doesn't speak my love language.

My dear couple will ALWAYS! have disagreement...christian or not, married or not; the real issue is what are you disagreeing about? A lot of fights between couples come from a seed of deeper issues. Why are you having these fights recently? Did something change? If you can trace back the genesis of your fights to a certain time/event/fight, you might want to dig deeper and see if there are unresolved issues or someone still holding a grudge or hurt feelings from it. You might also want to have a sit down conversation with your boyfriend.

I love him and I know he loves me as well, but we just can't seem to understand each other. He doesn't speak my love language.

My dear,you guys are in love but don't understand each other? That's very possible but depending on what you call love. God is love so a couple has to first and foremost know him to experience true Love. With that aside, have you ever spoken to him about your desires? Has he given you a reason why he can't fulfill them? Are your/his reasons logical? Maybe he never spoke it in the first place and you are just realizing it? or is this new?. Guys are the most predictable beings on earth and their body language tells us a lot, even though we women sometimes are in denial and refuse to see it. If this is new, confront ( this does not mean yelling, crying and throwing plates, it means being blunt) him about it, maybe he doesn't even realize he has changed!

For example, I like being called wifey, and he doesn't think it's appropriate to use that term unless we are at that stage.

Why do you like being called wifey? Is it because you are already acting like his "wifey"? Are you living with him? Are you having sex with him? Are you already basing your life decisions on him? HGF, only one person can truly carry that title and that's a woman who has been married before God and family. Anything less is just playing charades. You might truly love him but as of right now, you are just his girlfriend. I want you to step back and make a list of what you are giving to this relationship emotionally, physically, and mentally; there are some that belong strictly to a wife and there are some only a girlfriend can give...I want you to separate it and act according to your role. It might mean moving out, stop having sex, going after that degree you've always wanted, closing that joint account or getting your own car. By telling you that he doesn't want to call you "wifey", he is telling you to act your role, nothing more. I sense you are giving a lot into this relationship and that's why you want to be called his wife but it seems your boyfriend feels otherwise.

He says he's serious about marrying me but cannot really commit to a timeline. We've been together for over 2 years now.

One thing the Hubster has told me is that "A man who know what he wants will go hard till it's his". Now you both love each other but can't set a timeline for your relationship. Different reasons come to mind..."Is he financially ready?" Most men are bred with the breadwinner mentality, he might feel like marrying you know would be robbing you of the comforts and necessities you deserve. "Is he mentally/emotionally prepare to be a husband?" A lot of bachelors see marriage as the end of their youth, freedom and the beginning of an eternal "lock down". A guy who thinks this way is no where near ready because he will always feel there might have been something better on the outside and consciously/unconsciously will never be satisfied with what he has at home. On the other hand, there are guys with the baggage of a bad previous breakup or the divorce of parents. Do you know his background, is he hurting or scared? All this needs to be addressed if you ever expect him to move forward with you.Or could it be family issues? Do your parents know each other and are in agreement with a future union? Or does he see marriage pointless because he already has someone who plays the role in his life? You need to have a DTR (Define the relationship) talk and you can start by taking this quiz yourself. Remember, a relationship is a season with a goal in sight, it should never be stagnant.

Should I continue in this relationship or should I let go and let God?

My dear, If I had answers to all these questions above or knew you personally maybe I might be able to guide you in answering this question but ultimately this is an answer you need to find within yourself and you will only find it on your knees. Ask yourself " Who am I? what am I doing? what is my Goal in this relationship? Is it realistic? What does God say about this? Is this relationship in line with his word? Is this relationship drawing me closer to God? I have invested 2 years into this, am I better (in all aspects of my life), stronger and closer to God than I was before I met him?" These answers might come through pain and tears but they have to be asked. You are a beautiful(God made you, MUST be beautiful) woman who I know God has big plans for. You deserve his very best! Seek him and trust him. I pray you peace my dear...

If you need to talk again...I am ALWAYS here for you!
Inthe...

To everyone reading this, feel free to comment with either advice or words of encouragement for HPG

A letter to my heart

2011-11-09T15:04:00.002-05:00

Dear heart,

There is so much I wish I could tell you; things I wish I had known.

With Love...
Slow Down! You are in such a hurry to love and experience it. To taste the sweetness promised by the love of another. I want you to know that love isn't going anywhere. If you slow down now, you won't stumble or carry the lifetime of guilt you see in so many people. I know you've read the romance novels, spent days daydreaming of your own knight in shining armor but I want you to trust me when I say you are not ready. Love is the most complicated, mind numbing, exquisitely earth shaking emotion there is. What other emotion can kill you and give you life at the same time? It is complex and although your youth gives you the feeling of invincibility,you are yet young and fragile, trying to make out a path in this world; not quite sure where life is taking you. Love is not all about emotions, it is not a game you play and come out unscathed; it's as close as you may ever get to playing with fire.

I dont think you truly know how easy it is to bruise you or how far down you may fall? Boys live to play fast and reckless with everything they come in contact with and while their lips promise sweetness, their actions bring pain. Don't put your hearts into the hands of young boys or immature men,they barely know how to care for themselves let alone another; in the fast gambling of life and soul, there usually ends up one victim...you.

Love handled foolishly can leave you broken. So please my heart, slow down. Take this season to learn about yourself, to live life freely with abandon, to nurture and strengthen that spirit of yours. I promise,when you've grown and come to know who you are, love will be there waiting.

...Musings from atop the potter's wheels...

My name is Inthe...and I am a Manipulator!

2011-11-01T12:11:00.001-04:00

Oh yeah, by the way, I scheme a lot too...

Wait, why is that such a bad thing?

According to the Webster dictionary:
Scheme:a plan or program of action; especially a crafty or secret one
Schemer:: to form a scheme for

Manipulate:to manage or utilize skillfully; to control or play upon by artful means especially to one's own advantage

And why do I do it? because I am in Love!

I am a schemer, a manipulator and by God's grace, I will continually be so. Why because it brings the joys of marriage to fruition. When I scheme and manipulate,I bring into existence what I see in my dreams and I love it!

Let me give you an example of my constant manipulation.
My husband came home early today and made rice for dinner; I walked in while it was cooking and without a word, walked into the kitchen brought out fish, gizzard, iru (locust beans),and orishirishi and cooked up the yummiest Ila asepo (Okra soup) this side of our town! As I type, hubby is chowing down, reciting all kinds of poetry about my food and the rice is in the kitchen untouched. Sure, I could have chilled on the couch and ate rice with him but I purposely manipulated the situation, made something I knew he would love more and double affirmed my role in his heart...and Stomach! LOL. I have completely spoilt my husband taste buds for any woman's food and it is not surprising to see my hubby text me about wanting my food while eating another person's.

Checkmate!

I have a vision of what I want my marriage to be and I am constantly on my knees about it; but I don't end there... Oh No.. I also create situations that will bring my dreams to life! I don't wait for my dreams to come true, I make them come true.

As a matter of fact, Hubby actually is the one to blame because he is constantly manipulating me. You should see the way he treats my family especially my mother! He has done away with all the negative stereotypes of "keeping your mother-in-law at arm's length" and has treated her like a queen and his own mother - fully knowing that my mom means the world to me! I bet he knows that loving my mother unconditionally only makes me love him more,which makes me love his mom more which make him love me more for doing that and that makes me....You get the picture right? It ends up being one big circle of manipulation

Are you wondering why do I use the word "manipulation" instead of lighter, easier to hear words like "love"; well I have learnt that as humans, doing the right thing isn't always what we feel like doing...

Rom 7 vs 18,25: I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate...

Although we know the basics of what it takes to keep a christian marriage happy, it isn't exactly easy making our flesh do it; if it was that easy, people wouldn't just " fall out of love", commit adultery or slack off and watch their marriages crumble. To manipulate is to control and my bible tells me to manipulate myself in order to live out the life and marriage he has in store for me.

Ladies do you think I like working out at the gym all the time? Pls!!! but I have to manipulate/take control of myself in order to do that small gesture which ultimately brings a smile to the hubster's face and keeps his eyes glued to me!

Like I said in the beginning; My name is Inthe...and I am a manipiulator!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Don't be afraid -- Dream Big!

2011-10-24T20:53:00.002-04:00

Lawyer, Doctor, Architect, Engineer...

I have wanted to be a doctor since I was 6 and I always meet parents who tell their teens to be like me and want me to advise their them on becoming a doctor. Half these kids don't even WANT to be a doctor so, me being me, I will pull the kid aside and say "You better be what YOU want to be because working a job you hate is a slow death". I tell you, with all the hassles involved in my job (Not even going to mention the Vipers and Leeches aka "Health Insurance Companies and Malpractice Lawyers") it's the passion for medicine that keeps me here.

We Nigerians, are so prejudiced when it comes to things like this. When you meet us for the first time, within 5 mins of the conversation (even if its about something as random as the weather), we will find some way to find out what you do for a living. Hmm, if you turn around and mention anything less than the Mega 4 i.e Lawyer, Doctor, Architect, Engineer; Ol'boy you don miss road ooh. You might not be worth talking too.

Ladies,help me out, when you bring a guy home to your parents for the first time, one of the first things they ask after who his father is and what abule he is from, is what he does for a living.. correct? Yea, I thought so. I have no problems with this per se, but it's the closed mindedness to any other occupation that kinda ticks me off. There are millions of talented teens asking why they can't be writers or Actors or chefs??? WHY???!!!!!!

Right now, we are having the Nursing epidemic. Let me break it down for you. Everyone, as soon as they land on the shores of the US wants to be a nurse...EVERYONE! When I was in college, I was a triple major ( I don't know what I was drinking back then) Nursing, Pre-med and Psychology. Well, in my nursing class was this 50-ish year old aunty who just came from naija. She had been told that nursing was the way to go and without hesitation jumped into it. Maaaan, that woman suffered sha, btw not being able to stand blood to not being able to sit for the 1000000 hrs it took to study for those crazy classes, she could barely pass her tests. She would look at me with eyes screaming " Mo gbe...mo ti ku". All I could do was encourage her,knowing she had a lot of mouths to feed and nursing would be the way to it. By the way, me, after 1.5 semesters, I quickly soji'ed and dropped my nursing major and stuck with Psych/pre-med. I can't let one degree come and kill me. Hiss!!!

America is known as the land of opportunities and most of us are here because our home country couldn't provide the opportunities this country could; in the spirit of taking advantage of these opportunities, we need to be completely open to the different choices we have when it comes to professions. It's here that college drop outs become billionaires over night, fashion designers make more money than the president and people become rich from throwing a ball through a hoop.

It's time to break out of the old school ideology that if you are not one of a hand full of professions we will never make it. I completely understand that during our parents generation, only people in certain professions were deemed successful but times have changed. So if you want to be a writer, a fashion designer, model, actor, go for it! break the mold and reach for the stars! Let nothing hold you back!

Ps- If worse comes to worse, have Iya Banke beg your parents for you. LOL!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Tag: 10 Random things about me

2011-10-14T18:39:00.004-04:00

I was tagged by a popular blogger you know as YNC but whom I call Chibabe..lol. She is defintely a sweety so check out her blog.

The rules are simple, just mention 10 random things about myself.

1-I have Synesthesia; in simple language, I see colors when I hear words and I can actually taste sounds. Wait,it is not some debilitating brain disease,it's a simple mix up in the wiring of the brain and it tends to run in families. There are different types but the above 2 are the ones I have. My earliest memory of having this is in kindergarten, my mouth would water uncontrollably whenever my teacher used chalk on the board. it was too distracting and I couldn't find peace till I tasted it Yuck!

2-I can eat cereal 24 hrs a day!

3- Despite my sophistication,I am a traditional wife at heart. I love cooking, cleaning and basically taking care of my hubby and son.

4-I won't lie, I get a bit bothered when I see Nigerians in relationships with non-nigerians.

5-I am the only black female resident physician in my hospital, when I don't wear my white coat, people mistake me for everything from a nurse, to a aide, to a tech.

Quick story: I was approached by a nurse last night who asked if i had moved a patient to his room already. i calmly turned to her and said " I am a doctor", she glanced and my badge and screamed in fear saying "I am soo sorry, please forgive me, you are not wearing your coat." I told her I didn't feel disrespected,and gave her a quick 1 arm hug. I walked away knowing in my head that I STILL am not going to wear my coat..lol

6- I associate life experiences with music and scents, as a youngster, I tended to wear 1 perfume/splash with 1 guy. When I ended a relationship, I would throw away whatever perfume i wore while with the guy and never go back to it. Now I wear one main scent and it is associated with the hubster, i guess I will be wearing it for life! Amen

7-I can't deal with too many intimate friends at once; I tend to give my all (loyalty, love etc) to whatever friends I have at the moment. The max of close friends I have had at once is 2. On the other hand, having a hand full of acquaintances isn't a problem.

8-I am very sensitive to my family, but to the outside world, I am an unbreakable BRICK HOUSE!

9- I have a heart for women, marriage and relationships.... I could go on and on and on for days about the topics

10-As a doctor, my heart is with the poor and under served and I will probably end up working with refugees

So, there you go....10 random things about me.
...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Music...

2011-10-04T19:09:00.001-04:00

I am very particular about music. Before I became a born again Christian, I listened to anything and everything. I didn't care if in the song, the artist was calling me all sorts of names or proposing all sorts of rubbish; as long as it had a bumping beat...I was aaaaaaaalllll over it.

Nowadays, I am as I said, very particular and use scripture to decide what is fit for my ears. The scripture I use is Phil 4 vs 8 which says "Brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things" and this has been of great help.

No more butt shaking to songs about buying my sex, seeing my nakedness or getting drunk on my lips! No more songs accusing me of stealing your money, cussing out your mama or catching me with your boy...No More! I know my worth and I am sooooo much better than all of that!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

You're saved? So what????!!!!

2011-09-26T18:19:00.001-04:00

Ladies, there is absolutely no jazz in this world stronger than a woman who has her man's heart! If your man loves you, you will say "A..." and he will respond "Yes my luv..." there is absolutely nothing that he wouldn't do for you; but this love...this jazz of all jazzes, has to be worked for. In this post, I am going to talk about one way to work for it. A lot of born again Christians think that since they are both saved, and they are now married, that's enough to keep things hot and toasty between them...

FA FA FA... FOUL!

Ladies, remember in this post, I talked about how we women need to share our stories? Well happily married Christian females need to tell the engaged/newly wed ladies how we do it. For example, you probably will never catch me with a mini skirt outside the house talk less of booty shorts and midriffs but guess what, my bible tells me that in Eccle 3 vs 1: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" and for me the season for low cuts, booty shorts, midriffs and scandalous of all scandies is during married life...but within the confines of my home!!!

I tell my ladies that if you are dressed up in sweats and T-shirts at home, you better be on your period or about to go scrub the toilet. You think cuz your man is saved,he is not as visual as his other comrades??? NA LIE!!!! Actually our saved brothers have been looking forward to marriage as a time where they can finally let go without the fear of betraying God or their vows.

So make the time he waited worth while; let him feast his eyes and hands without holding back!!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

What do they see? (Part 2)

2011-09-19T14:38:00.001-04:00

How else can we protect our marriage from the outside?

I try not to argue/disagree or have heated debates with the hubster in public. Now ever since I was a child peeps always told me I chose the wrong profession; that I should have been a lawyer because I LOVE to argue! When I argue, as the hubster says, I get all loud and always "go for the jugular"; while the hubster has come to know that when I get excited I get loud, someone seeing me argue in public over why the chicken crossed the road would think I was a step away from being violent.

Ok OK Ok while not every woman is as loud as I am, disagreeing projects the visualization of disunity. In public, people see a snapshot of your life and this snap shot can influence in the negatives as much as it can in the positive.

Another thing I stay away from is correcting the hubster in public. Unless the hubster is walking around saying 10+10=Infinity,I try not to correct him in public. Imagine this, hubby and I out in public with friends,he's telling them the funniest story ever heard or even commenting about the current situation of the election...and while everyone is enthralled and captivated by his eloquence (hehe!) I stop him mid track and say "unh unh... you're wrong, its actually blah blah blah"!

Not only does this disrespect him in public, but it also belittles him. Correction can wait till we are alone and he will definitely appreciate it.

Making your husband look good in public is very important because it also tells of the wife you are. Do not be mistaken, there is absolutely no way you can "shine" in public if your husband is seen in a different light.

Just as the moon reflects the light of sun, your image in public is a reflection of your hubby's so the better he looks, the better you look.

Break in transmission...Some disclaimers!

2011-09-13T10:28:00.000-04:00

I would like to address some issues...

1- I do not have this marriage thing downpack

If it seems for any reason, that I have this whle marriage/relatioship thing down to a science, let me be the first to tell you...IT'S A LIE OOOH! I am NOT a teacher, I definitely don't know it all and I am not ashamed to admit it. Marriage is a school and I am still learning; its just that I like sharing my answers (experiences) with my fellow classmates..lol

2- Why dont you address the brothas/You act like we ladies are the only ones with faults/Say a few things to the brothas too; they need it as much as we do.

A lot of you guys might be wondering why this blog focuses solely on us ladies and what we can do to make things better. Now while I am ~~sure~~ ~~positively sure~~ adamant that men need to work as hard as we ladies do to make a relationship work; this blog ~~does not~~ will not address this. Here's to hoping that there is a "Inthemidstofhim" somewhere out there because I dont feel that I know enough of what its like to be a man to speak on this topic.

Ok, now that I've gotten that off my chest...back to your regular scheduled posts..hehe

What do they see?

2011-09-03T18:16:00.001-04:00

Heb 12 vs 1 (NLT):"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses..."

Hubby and I have found good friends in another couple we know. Actually the hubster and the couple were friends and after he and I became a couple, I slowly but surely became friends with them as well. Now they are a couple in love; without question and I love being around them. Well, the wife has a nickname she calls her man and for some weird reason I unconsciously started calling him the same nickname and before you know it the hubster and I started calling him this name as well.

Hmmm.. what if she was calling him "bastard"; would I have adopted that and called him that as well? Probably not, but if she was treating him as such; I probably would have unconsciously picked that up as well...

Ladies, let NO ONE fool you; you relationship with you husband is a spectator sport and EVERYONE is watching and even going as far as keeping score. When you are out in public, your verbal and body language is being picked and the way you treat your man is most definitely noticed. My mom always told me " Owo to ba fi gboko ni aye ma fi ba e gbe."(Mother dearest, 2010) which means, " The manner with which you carry your husband is the same way the world will treat him" so if they treat your man like garbage outside the house, your peeps, his peeps and strangers you meet will treat him as such.

How does this play out in everyday life?

I am allowed to be 2-faced whenever I need too! For example, when going out I could be majorly pissed off for one reason or another; I am talking "spitting fire-take cover-about to lose my mind" kinda of anger, but when the hubster and I step onto the scene...Gen gen!, its all laughs and giggles, lovey dovey, whispers of love, sly touches and hand holding.

Ok Why? Am I trying to make people envy me? Absolutely not, I am doing it to keep my marriage intact. Let me explain...If I got to the party pissed, gave the hubster the silent treatment with a stank face all night on, maybe going as far as raising my voice or storming out; well 2 things would happen.

1-I would look stupid, embarrass myself and my husband, and when we got home, one way or the other hubby and I would make up, I would apologize, cook for him, pamper him, make love to him blah blah blah and it would be all good in the hood...

....SCREEECH... but what about the impression I left at the party...well that's number 2

2- People would think I am stupid, People would feel embarrassed for the hubster, people would remember every dirty look and cold shoulder I gave him, our marriage would look like trash, hubby's would say I am a man eater and have castrated the hubster....blah blah blah... not knowing the fight lasted 2 hours and as we speak, the hubster and I are cuddling on a couch watching Titanic...lol.

You see that's the impression people would have of my relationship and it would be the first thing they remember next time they see us.

Prov 31:23 (NLT):"Her husband is well known at the city gates..."

Is your husband known at the city gates? in our modern times that could be his job, church, amongst your friends, within your family etc. What is he known for? Is he known for being a fool, a man with no ambitions, a man who can't satisfy his woman financially, emotionally or sexually? A weak man or a man who has no say in his household? Or is he known as a king, a leader in his household, the protector of all things his, a strong, loving self sacrificing guy who is 10 times better than his peers?

I want my husband to leave our home everyday feeling like a million bucks, walking on clouds and strong enough to face the world with all the confidence he needs; life is tough enough as it is; he doesnt need any extra toughness coming from me.

To be continued...

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Mother's Love... Mother tongue

2011-08-27T22:22:00.001-04:00

As I write this, baby boy is sitting on my desk staring at the screen and his inquisitive eyes are wondering what mom is up too. As he stretches to punch a few keys and make his own blogger debut, I gently swipe his hand away and say

"Kai, ma she"!

Did I mention that I try to speak only Yoruba to my son? Yup, no English up in this house because baby boy HAS to learn Yoruba and I am quite confident that he will learn English as he grows. I see it EVERYWHERE and I bet you do too; Mexicans, Chinese, Indians; kids born within the US speaking their native Spanish, mandarin or Punjab as if they were born in their home countries. Do they have 2 heads and 3 brains? NO! So if they can do it.... teach their kids their language within the US, well SO CAN I!!

From the time I was about 4 months pregnant, I started doing research, reading and making plans on how I was going to raise my son speaking Yoruba. Whenever I saw a mom in the grocery store speaking a foreign language to her kid, I would stop her, point to my belly and ask for tips, taking note of everything. I even went as far as having a family meeting with my folks and the hubster to etch out my desires and ask for their help....

Fast forward 16 mths....

Well Baby boy is 16 mths as I speak or type and I am pleased and grateful to God that my baby understands Yoruba. He knows

Gba- Take
Maa no e e oo - I will spank you (Which I do but that's a topic for another day)
Kai- Stop it
Omi- Water
joosi -Juice...( Technically its Omi eso, but he is 16 mths for goodness sake!...lol)
Maa bo- Come with me
and our current project is the word joko- Sit. I have started stringing words together like "Gba joosi" and "Maabo,joko"

I am the ONLY one among my peeps doing this and it can be frustrating. For example, I'm teaching baby boy joko; I physically have to keep getting up and sitting him down while repeating the word over and over (He likes standing close to the TV, so I am always pulling him back and sitting him down). Imagine doing this 10 times in a row! Another thing is that bilingual babies speak later than monolinguals because they have to process 2 languages in their heads. So, besides one or two words, I am yet to hear my son speak Yoruba back to me.

But it will be worth it, when I have children who appreciate their culture, love the food, people and have a tight grasp of their mother tongue; everything will be worth it. I daydream about being in a store with my kid and speaking code in yoruba and having a convo that no one else understands....heheh. YAY!

PS: If you have any tips, resources i.e Blogs of someone doing something similar, sites where I can buy yoruba flashcards or storybooks PLEASE email me or leave a comment! Thanks~!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Count the cost

2011-08-18T10:33:00.000-04:00

Luke 14 vs 28-30 (NLT):But don't begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?

Marriage Season has come and gone! Whew! For those of us who live in Northern America, April-August is marriage season and depending on how many female friends you have, you probably spent this whole summer in headties and heels...lol. I love weddings, as a single woman it gave me something to look forward too and as a married woman, it takes me on a stroll down memory lane.

As a female, but especially as a nigerian female, I know how important Marriage is. It's a part of life that your mom, grand mom, aunties, cousins and the random stranger down the road are all waiting for and the closer you get to the dreaded 30 without prospects, the more drama occurs.

Mother: Yinka jooo....ma d'oju timi. M'oko wale!! ( Yinka, please!! Dont disgrace me, bring a husband home)

As the last glass of champagne is being drunk, the last piece of cake eaten, the last gift opened; I wonder how many brides really understand the cost of marriage.

Yup, you heard right...THE COST!

In every part of your life, something has to give. You can not live the same identical life as a single and married woman. As a working wife and mom, I wake up early and sleep late; I do unimaginable loads of laundry every week, dinner every night and many times, I find myself rocking baby boy to sleep on my back late into the night. I study ( yes, doctors are eternal students) in between bottle making, cartoon watching and I have mastered scheduling pediatrician appointments into my already hectic schedule. All the while being sensitive enough to spend time with the hubster and not leaving him on the back burner.No complaints (well...some tiny ones now and again..lol).

This is my life and to be honest; I LOVE IT. Only because I already did my math and counted the cost beforehand! EVERYTHING from when I walked down the isle, to getting pregnant 3 months into my marriage was planned with God and the hubster; so while peeps tell me I should have waited; I can honestly tell them, I did my arithmetic before plunging in.

I hear a lot of new wives complaining about how marriage has changed everything. How their hubbies disapprove of their weekly girls night out. How he complains about how he misses her home cooked food (Some men can't live on takeout every night); how he likes to know when she'll be back home making her miss happy hour with her co-workers. She wants to go to every birthday, naming ceremony, and graduation and will buy every lace "anko" that goes with every event. Its hard for her to understand why she can't use her hard earned money to buy that Gucci bag she's been eyeing for 6 months...after all, its coming out of her paycheck abi!!

One thing that is absolutely true about marriage is that it consumes your time. No longer are you thinking only about yourself, you have more responsibility and if you don't know by now, let me tell you; your home life is your new priority and should be treated as such. Wait.. Wait before you lynch me: I am NOT saying, as a married woman you wont have any "you" time; you must because that is equally important for your marriage but I am saying there will definitely be a shift in responsibilities and priorities when compared to your single life. Don't fight it; Embrace it! If you are having difficulties adjusting speak to God, speak to your hubby and this will help come to some compromise.

Luke 14 vs 29-30: ...Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you.They would say, 'There's the person who started that building and couldn't afford to finish it!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

The Cat's out of the bag...

2011-08-11T09:51:00.001-04:00

1Tit 5 vs 25: And the good deeds done in secret will someday come to light.

So I am not so anonymous anymore. Turns out hubby who is extra extra proud of me and my blog; decided to tell one of my little sisters in Christ (B*girl...you know yourself...lol)about it. Well it turns out, she became very proud of her big sister in Christ and told all her friends about it and...( You get the picture now right) So right now in Beautiful British Columbia, Canada... my secret's out!

Well, no shaking Jare!! I have always had the philosophy that even though I am an anonymous blogger, I would only write things that I would not be ashamed of if people ever found out who I really was; and the way things are looking...it just might not be too long!

Shout out to BC...I couldn't choose a better group to out me!! I love you guys and miss you and will be coming up as soon as I can!

Thou shall not touch....

2011-08-03T20:52:00.001-04:00

So to say I am protective of baby boy is an understatement. I love my hubby and Son fiercely and although I am learning to be a bit relaxed, this lioness has to growl and show some teeth sometime.

For example...

So last Saturday, I was in church with Hubby and baby boy rehearsing for an upcoming drama presentation. I usually carry baby boy around ( If you see a young hawt mama with a baby on her back naija style, it's probably me!) but I have been trying to be strong and let him run around and explore alone( but dont be fooled, wherever that boy is, I have an eye on him...even when I am looking into another person's eyes in conversation, at least 0.000001% of my eyeball is on him);but I do try, you know, give him a sense of independence

Well while he was running around, from the corner of my eye ( you know, that 0.000001%...lol)I noticed that a church lady had given him a potato chip. First of all rule 149 in the baby handbook is that you always ask a mom permission before giving food to a toddler who can not speak. So being the gentle, caring, loveable soul that I am, I got up and started screaming " Noooooo, he is allergic to that!! He is allergic to that" Let me tell you, that Church lady almost had a heart attack! When I saw the fear and her almost losing control of her bladder, I laughed a bit and calmly said...."No, I was kidding but you never give toddler's food without asking the mom first". I had a smile on my face but my eyes were dead serious, so she knew I wasn't kidding.

Why did I do that?
1-What if he really was allergic to the food?
2-I don't know where her hands have been
3-I do not want my son getting use to taking food from strangers.

Anyway,I guess I shouldn't have bothered because baby boy took the chip broke it into pieces and gave them back to her....lol. That's a home trained Boy jare...lol

PS: During this whole incident,hubby knowing the wife he had just quietly looked away, as if he wasn't in the room! He knew I was going to deal with the lady for what she did.

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Talitha Cumi Part 3...Stop the Foolish

2011-07-28T13:33:00.001-04:00

Malachi 3 vs 15:From now on we will call the arrogant blessed. For those who do evil get rich, and those who dare God to punish them suffer no harm.

It's everywhere you look..

Channel 1: Foolish drunk girl turned overnight superstar for drinking herself into a stupor and throwing up on herself
Channel 2: Foolish girl on TV for the 4th time bringing the 4th possible "baby daddy" to be tested for paternity
Channel 3: 30 Foolish Young girls all looking for "love" on TV and are willing to fight each other for a single guy's attention; even though he is sleeping with all 30 of them.
Channel 4: Group of girls live in a housewhere all they do is fight, get drunk, cry, have casual sex, cry some more, fall asleep and wake up to begin all over again.
Channel 5: Singer romping around barely dressed; all in the name of " showing the strength of womanhood" (PLEASE!!!)

Why are these people "Stars"?

To think with with all the advancement and improvement women have made, how far we have fought to elevate ourselves in a once male dominated world; it's all come to this... we are on TV, yes, but we are either naked, drunk, selling our beauty or degrading our bodies. All for those precious 15 mins of fame.

And what do we do? We raise these "stars" up on a pedestal and fantasize on how lucky they are to be famous. For a chance to see them we scurry through streets hoping not to miss this week's expressions of foolishness. We write about them, listen to them, talk about them, read about them, buy their products, try to dress like them, secretly envy them; all for a chance to be a part of their "life".

Ladies, it is time to Talitha Cumi and stop the foolish. We have sooo much more to give in this world than our bodies. When we forget this, we allow the world to use our essence in a way that degrades us; we allow our sexuality to be used from selling everything from a can of beer to a pair of shoes. We are strong, the only creation to have risen from flesh and bones; not dust like everything else. We are life bearers and are created in the image of perfection. Once you know your worth; No one will ever be able to take it away from you.

Talitha Cumi!!!!

Malachi 3 vs 16: "...and the LORD listened to what they said... In his presence, a scroll of remembrance was written to record the names of those who feared him and always thought about the honor of his name. {He says} On the day when I act in judgment, you will again see the difference between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not."

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Not for sale...

2011-07-22T20:28:00.002-04:00

As I was driving down the highway today, I saw a HUGE billboard asking me to sell one of my eggs for $10,000. I can tell you with all assurance that if a person brought $2 million to me for one of my eggs, I wouldn't bat an eyelid; the answer would be NO!! Not that 2 million doesn't sound great and it would definitely change my life for good,but the mere fact that a part of me is out in the world, without me, is too much for me to bear. To think I would wake up every day not knowing if this egg is in a petri dish or a beautiful baby girl/boy/twins... not knowing if they were safe, hungry.. ummmh...NO!

ETA: Just realized that in the pic, while the mother is holding the baby...the egg donor is holding a bunch of shopping bags. Ohh so the next time I realize that I dont have enough cash for a new sweater and tiffany bracelet, I'll just sell an egg!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

My shoes...Part 2

2011-07-16T16:34:00.000-04:00

“Job...Job...”

It was my own screaming that woke me up from a night of disturbed sleep. I didn’t remember much and the scenes of the previous day came back in broken fragments; each one ripping into my heart anew. I didn’t know why I had awoken and if I was truthful, I had wished to never see the light of day again. How could my whole life be completely demolished; all between the rising and setting of the sun? How could Job’s God whom he worshiped with all heart let this happen?

I remember when I first met Job,my family were normads who traveled around selling goat's milk and camel hide. He traded with my father a number of times and from his honest tradings, my father grew to respect him and eventually became his friend. One thing the whole town knew about Job was that he was passionate about his God. He wasn’t the God of my people but that did nothing to prevent me from falling in love with him. His passion, trust and love for his God was so infectious that my father had no problems letting me marry and live so far away from my people. My betrothal ceremony was the happiest day of my life and even though I kept my gaze down as customary; I still stole glances of Job out of the corner of my eyes.

“Wife of my youth”, that was his nickname for me and as he gave me a tour of his fields and property he continued “There is absolutely nothing my God cannot do. He has blessed me with EVERYTHING you see here”.

That day seemed a lifetime away; and the pleasures of those days were now replaced with anguish and sorrow. I pushed the memories away as the tears began. God had blessed Job...us...with everything I had seen that day; I now wondered why this same God had taken it away.

As I walked outside, afar off I noticed that he was still in the crumpled pile he had fallen into yesterday. He hadn’t moved and as I got closer, I noticed something was different. As I approached him, a stench I had previously dismissed as probably from a dog that must have died somewhere; got stronger. When I finally got to him, the stench was unbearable and giant flies, the same always seen hovering around corpses surrounded him. At that moment, he turned and looked at me; I screamed in horror. My husband, my tall, handsome, strong husband was now covered in raw moist boils! Each one red, oozing pus with a putrid smell; these boils must have been fiercely itchy because he had converted a broken shard of clay into a tool with which he frantically scratched himself. I watched in horror as each boil he targeted oozed pus and left behind a raw patch of bleeding skin. Not one inch of his body was spared from this ordeal

“Job...Job”

My sobs punctuating each word I spoke. For a moment which felt like a lifetime, there was silence between us.I watched him laying pitifully in a pile of dust, in the same robe he was wearing when our life as we know it came to a brutal halt; the same robe barely hanging on to his now frail fame; partly because he had torn it in two in his grief but also because he had grown so thin and frail. As I took this sight, I felt the little bit of life left in me drain away. I couldn’t even cry, there were no more tears left within me. WHAT DID I HAVE LEFT? In one day, my family’s livelihood, gone, washed away like an empty gourd left haphazardly by a river. My children, their laughter that was a constant sound in my home now faded away like an echo on a hill. My husband, all I had left... now gone, his strong embrace which had always found a way to lift my soul now replaced by a shadow of his former self. WHAT DID I HAVE LEFT??? NOTHING!!! WHAT WAS THERE TO LIVE FOR? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! What was I still doing on this earth, in this life? There was nothing left for me and as I thought of this, a weird peace fell upon me for it had just dawned upon me what I had to do next. It was time for me to join my forefathers, time to travel to the land where I would no longer feel anymore. It was time for me to die! Yes, I wanted to die.

All of a sudden, as I thought these words, I got this feeling within me, this searing hot sensation that initially almost made me double over in pain. As this foreign sensation took my breath away, leaving me dizzy and confused I tried to decipher what was going on within me. Sadness?... no it wasn’t that...I had been living within that emotion for the last 2 days, this was different...this was rage and it welled up in me till I couldn’t take it anymore. Looking directly at Job, my curled lips curled could barely hold back the sarcasm laden questions within; and that's when I did it! That's when I looked him in the eyes and spat out...

To be continued...

My shoes...Part 1

2011-07-11T21:37:00.002-04:00

I did a guest write up for Faith dames, a biblical blog that gives a voice to the women in the bible. I decided to write as Job's wife and boy was it an experience! Anyway, I am posting it here as well in order to also share with you, my readers. Enjoy and please let me know what you think.

“...Just curse God and die!”
Talk about setting your future on a couple of words! This is the story of how five words not only marred my image possibly forever but also took me on a journey I did not expect.

Listen, I know you might not want to hear what I have to say but I DO have a story. I know the picture my infamous words painted of me were ugly but for one minute... just a sec.... take off your comfortable, judgmental shoes and slip on mine.

The day that changed my life forever started as a normal day; laughter waffling through our compounds as my children prepared for the day. Today was a special day; my eldest son was throwing a huge feast for his siblings and although my husband Job had innumerable servants, I was never one to leave anything to do with my children in their hands. I love being a helpmeet to my husband; I truly do, but there was just something extra special about being a mother. The God of my husband had blessed me with 10 beautiful children; 7 boys who were my joy and 3 beautiful girls who were my laughter. Rather than spend my mornings tending our sheep, camels and thousands of other animals, my husband’s wealth provided servants and allowed me to spend my days with my children.

My Children...My greatest joy.

With my children all prepared and off to the feast, a certain quiet descended on the compound. It was a sweet silence and I immediately released a breath of relief. With them gone, I could finally take a step back and relax. I was going to nap for a while and then go see what Job was up too. After I was rested and preparing lunch, I saw man on a horse, visibly in a hurry rush into our compound and in a blink of an eye my life changed.

... “a messenger arrived at Job's home with this news: "Your oxen were plowing, with the donkeys feeding beside them, when the Sabeans raided us. They stole all the animals and killed all the farmhands. I am the only one who escaped to tell you." While he was still speaking, another messenger arrived with this news: "The fire of God has fallen from heaven and burned up your sheep and all the shepherds. I am the only one who escaped to tell you." While he was still speaking, a third messenger arrived with this news: "Three bands of Chaldean raiders have stolen your camels and killed your servants. I am the only one who escaped to tell you." While he was still speaking, another messenger arrived with this news: "Your sons and daughters were feasting in their oldest brother's home. Suddenly, a powerful wind swept in from the wilderness and hit the house on all sides. The house collapsed, and all your children are dead. I am the only one who escaped to tell you."

I was numb! It had to be a cruel joke; my daughters, beautiful and graceful were dead? On my hands, I could still smell the olive oil I had brushed into their hair and the shea butter I has smoothed onto their feet. No, this couldn’t be happening! My sons, tall and brave; spitting images of their father...dead? No! I could not...would not... believe this. I waited for Job’s reaction; actually picked up a rock with the hope that as Job slapped this servant for his cruel joke, I would stone him simultaneously for his outrageous boldness. It was when I saw my husband stand up with a wild almost feral scream of grief, ripping his robe in shreds that I felt it and knew in my heart that it was true. In one day, my life evaporated. As the grief rocked me, the last thing I remember seeing before slipping into the merciful darkness of unconsciousness was my husband’s head covered in blood as he used a jagged piece of a gourd he just smashed to shave his hair off.

To be continued...

Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Talitha Cumi Part 2...Tell your Story

2011-07-02T21:45:00.000-04:00

"...And God is faithful. He will not allow {it} to be more than you can stand." (1Cor 10 vs 13 NLT)

I've had my heart ~~bruised~~, ~~broken~~, ~~shattered~~,smashed to dust before and like most girls, I hid it. I felt letting people know would increase my shame and make me the laughingstock of my school. So I bore the pain alone and slowly started withdrawing into my self. Looking back, I did not see that I was slowly fading away. I began to age prematurely and lost the joy of living. I used to ask God daily "Why...why did you let this happen to me...what did I ever do?"

As I slowly moved on, picking the pieces of my life up again; I slowly felt better day by day but the pain never really left. I was stronger but there was still a piece of me that was damaged and I just accepted this pain as something I would have to bear for the rest of my life. People have always told me that I am very easy to talk too and even within my sorrow God did not take that gift away from me. Women were still drawn to me and with the little new strength I felt, I made it a point to search for opportunities to be an encouragement to women whenever I got the chance. I loved being friends with the outcast, the broken and hurting but I never voiced the fact that I knew how they felt because I had gone through what they were going through. They would tell me how much they admired my strength but they did not know the truth.

One day, I met a girl, who is one of my closest friends,literally the very first day I met her, 2 hrs later, she was pouring her heart out to me. I dont know why she told me her life but it happened and before we knew it, she was crying hysterically. Her tears made the dam within me break and at that very hour, I told her my own story. I said "This bold,supposedly strong woman you see here has lived life at the very lowest and if God could turn me around and make me something to be "admired and desired", imagine what God could do to you!" Guess what, as I began to share my story with girls going through the same, God began healing me! With every time I told my story I began to understand the purpose of what I went through. Why did God let me go through what I did? In order to share my story and show someone else that there is survival after heart ache. That she is not the first person to believe that life was unlivable just because someone walked out on her....That's why! But I had to open my mouth to get that healing, I had to take that first step and start sharing.

Now, dont get me wrong I dont go around saying " hey, my name is Inthe... and I have been heartbroken, how are you?" but when I sense that someone needs to hear my story and how far God has brought me, I no longer run from it. That piece of me that I mentioned earlier, you know, the one I said was damaged, in bondage, in shame of my past; well, to the glory of God, he has completely redeemed it but this still doesn't stop me from reaching out and still telling my story!

So ladies, please open your heart and speak. Let us break this wall of cultural silence we have built around us!

Share your story! Somebody needs to hear it. Somebody needs to know that someone else has gone through the exact same thing and survived. That 16 year old girl needs to know that She is not the only Virgin in this world, that 26 year old girl needs to know that she is not beyond the marriageable age, that 35 year old woman needs to know that she is not the only one who spends her nights on her knees praying for a child. That 45 year old woman needs to know that she is not the only woman whose husband has strayed...TELL YOUR STORY!

Matt 5 vs 41: Then He took the child by the hand, and said to her, "Talitha, cumi," which is translated, "Little girl, I say to you, arise!"

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Talitha Cumi Part 1...Unlock the hidden

2011-06-24T23:37:00.001-04:00

Matt 25 vs 29 (NLT): To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.

------

For what seems like the 1000000000th time, I watched as our church congregation lifted their hands and got lost in my Hubby's voice. As God used his voice, people were moved through praise and worship and it was beautiful. Well, for the 10000000001th time, I thought "Man, if only I could sing like him".

My hubby is what's known as a triple threat in the body of Christ, he can ~~sing~~ sang, he can preach and he can act! ( I hope you didn't think I was going to say dance...lol). I remember the first time he sang for me...Ladies, one word, GOOSEBUMPS!

Well, over the years, I have really found myself envying him and wishing I could sing just like him.

Me: Babe, do you like how I am singing...
Hubby: You are so beautiful
( Silence...)
Me: That is not what I asked you! I asked if you loved the way I was singing this song...
(...Crickets...)
Hubby: You know I love you right...
Me: *Hiss*... Leave me alone jo!

After a session of desperately needing my husband to validate me as a singer he got fed up and said " babe, listen to me, you can't sing...at all!!... but you are an exceptional X, XX and XXX; focus on those not my gifts! He was right;truth of the matter was, I didn't care what gifts I had, I just wanted his.

Ladies, what gifts lie within you that are being ignored because you are spending your time envying the gift of another? Some ladies are monsters behind a sewing machine! They can take curtains and turn them into a fabulous dress but instead of nurturing that talent, she ends up doing a 9-5 she has absolutely no interest in. (Please raise your hand if your parents have ever tried to ~~encourage~~ coerce you into becoming a lawyer, doctor, engineer or architect) This is 2011 and the sky is the limit! My wish is for every woman to unlock every hidden dream that has laid dormant out of fear, shame or disinterest. Wake up every sleeping dream and desire inside.

What is that one thing you have always wanted? What is that one childhood passion you had? Is it to be a writer, a fashion designer, or a musician? Stop seeing this talent as an inconvenient weight and explore it to the fullest. Break the mold, do the unconventional and shatter that glass ceiling. Now is the time to water your heart, nurture it and watch it bloom because no one in this world can be a better YOU!

Talitha Cumi... Little girl ARISE!

Matt 5 vs 41: Then He took the child by the hand, and said to her, "Talitha, cumi," which is translated, "Little girl, I say to you, arise!"

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

The wrong kind of water...

2011-06-18T16:19:00.001-04:00

Look what I found! This is a story I wrote last year while I was pregnant. I re-read it and just KNEW I had to share...ENJOY! ( I just don`t know why I wrote it in 3rd person....go figure!) btw, this is a TRUE story.

2 weeks ago...

“Can I have a cup of water please?”

It had been a hectic morning at her pre-natal appointment. She had gone into the office that morning expecting the usual.

“Inthemidstofher, how are you this morning?”

She knew the ever chipper receptionist would smile her “too early in the morning to be real” smile” while extending to her the sign- in clip board. This morning was different; she was 38 weeks pregnant and therefore technically full term. Any moment from now…ANY MOMENT… could find her doubled over and welcoming her new son into the world. She had gone into the clinic expecting her OBGYN to declare her cervix dilated…not too much… not enough to require panic… but a “cute” 3-4cm that would inch her closer to the finish line.

Forty-five minutes later, after the usual peeing in the cup, facing her demons on the weight scale and her blood pressure being taken, she was butt naked sprawled on the bed, legs in stirrups with her doctors fingers making her blush.

Anything doctor, am I dilated?

Awww, sorry…no… not yet. Your cervix is LCP.

As she heard the familiar OB term “Long, Closed and posterior” which basically meant her cervix hadn’t changed a cm, her heart sank a bit. It was her fault; she shouldn’t have built up the expectation that she would be having her son before her due date. She hadn’t realized how anxious she was till she had to stop at the receptionist on her way out to ask for a cup of water. The cold water was refreshing, calming and strengthening and after a few minutes, she was ready to drive home.

That’s when it happened….

The huge gush of water that soaked her pant legs caught her by surprise. She had bent down to pick something she had dropped and all of a sudden, she felt a fluid soak through her pants, socks and even her shoes. Yes! It was happening, but how? The doctor had just told her 5 minutes ago that her cervix was LCP and here she was going into labor….. Wow! Ok…ok…. she wasn’t going to panic….Calm down…breath...in...out…in..out… She was ready for this! All she had to do was go home, call her doula, her hubby and get the party started. It was time….Oh gosh! The baby’s room wasn’t finished and she was yet to find the exact rocking chair she wanted. She wondered if she could make a quick run to Babies r us.. where was….

Wait…

At once, her shock and joy vanished. The same feeling of euphoria and excitement that had appeared out of nowhere disappeared just as quick. All that was left was embarrassment and a little shame. She quickly looked around to see if anyone was watching her because she was sure she had made a spectacle of herself, huge belly and all freaking out in public.

Why? Because she realized the fluid that had soaked into her pants was not her “water breaking”; it was only her spilling all over herself the cup of water the receptionist had given her.

Hahah...Hoped you enjoyed it.

...Musings from atop the potter`s wheel....

How we became a couple....

2011-06-13T12:00:00.003-04:00

So the hubster and I had been introduced by his best friend who happened to be my medical school classmate and best friend as well at the time. The first time we met was very dramatic and rocky but I will leave that for another time. Anyway, we had been friends for about 1-2 mths when he basically placed his cards on the table.

The Hubster: I just want you to know that I am not one of those guys who just hangs around a girl, not stating his intentions and giving mixed signals. I want you to know that I am "here" for a reason, I want to marry you

This was the first time he had shown any kind of wanting to be more than friends and even though it was super scary at that moment, looking back, I truly appreciated his honesty. He wasn't in town to mess with my head or heart and without even knowing how I felt, he came out, took charge and did not leave me trying to read his signals.

...Brownie pt

Well when TH came out, I was ~~not interested~~ on the fence. One reason was I had just found my footing with God and I wanted no distractions but also because I had the conviction that I was NEVER to casually date again (been there...done that... unfortunately started my own club), the next guy I was going to let into my heart was going to be my last bus stop so I needed to feel him out properly! With all this in mind, I told TH that I didn`t know if I wanted anything from him, would appreciate him just being a friend for now and for him to NEVER bring the topic up again until I did.

Looking back, I could see the selfishness in what I asked him but honestly, I did not care. I had been so foolish with my heart in previous instances that for once, I was going to make it all about me. This time, I was protecting my heart.

No longer "bending" just to make the guy comfortable, I was worth more than that so it was MY time. That wasn't the last time I was a bit selfish. I remember when valentines day was about 2 days away, I called him up and told him not only did I not want to see/hear/get a text/email/gift whatever from him on that Vals day, I also did not want to see HIM either. I did not want anything clouding my mind and I needed him to know that Vals day was absolutely useless to me and could not be used to buy me.

So TH and I kept up our friendship up for months and to be honest I started melting. Not only was he a great catch by earthly standards, he was great faith wise. There were some things God had spoken to him that I confirmed in his life and vice-versa. TH was more spiritually mature than I was and his friendship led me into a deeper relationship with God and it made me more attracted to him.

Ladies, I will be blunt with you... I looked at my TH the way a guy bought a car. I kicked his tires to see that kind of stability he has. Ladies, never marry a guy you have not had a "all out brawl" with! You need to know how a guys fights. Is he the one who will give you a black eye, or is he the type that will call you, your mama and your grand mama names. Or is he the one who will walk out slamming the door and wont come back for 10 days? You need to know a brother! I popped open the hood to see what can of horse power he had under there. I wanted to know his potential and how far this guy was going in life. I wasn't so concerned about where he was now, but more importantly where he had the ambition and vision to go.

Ladies, I didn't stop there...I opened his trunk to see where he had been and what baggage he had packed in there. It was important to look at things he had done in the past in order to know where he was coming from. All what was left was to get into the car...I knew I had to be very certain because like I said, I wasn't into test driving guys; i wanted something to call my own. Plus I knew that once I got into that seat, those auto locks were going to kick in and it might be hard for me to let go once I was invested.

So why did I do all this? because I needed more than love! I am so against the school of thought that states that as long as you are "in love", nothing else matter..." it's an absolute LIE!!! Love is a HUGE part but not ALL you need... but I digress.

But would he pass the "family test"? It was time for him to meet the family. So to test him, I invited him to my brother's wedding but I also invited a female friend. GF was a friend but she also served as a decoy because I didn't want people to know who TH was yet... so I made sure he and GF were always together so people would think they were the couple. Well, that didn't work too much cuz TH being TH, his eyes were always on me, and eventually my family found out and they ALL loved him. One of my male cousins...the one I mentioned here initially pulled me outside and demanded what I was doing with TH.

Cousin: kilon she pelu guy yii? he is not a big baller naw... He is just too quiet for my liking you need a big boy...okunrin gidi!" .

Guess what? after sitting them both at the same table, I kid you not, 30 mins later, my cousin comes running out and pulled me to the side...again...

Cousin: " Inthemidstof her,this is the one oooh....don't let this boy go oooh. I am so sorry about what I said. This guys is perfect for you"

(roll eyes)

Well as you all know, I did finally get into the car ( ugggh... enough of this car analogy already!!! LOL) About a yr after we met, I called him up and told him he would get an answer in 7 days. I basically laid on the couch one night and wrestled with this issue.

Looking back, I knew he was the one but I was still struggling with the truth of the matter in my heart because I don't believe in divorce and forever is such a very long time. TH was so honest, so bare with his heart that it was very overwhelming being with him. I was very used to guys masking their feelings and here was a guy who told me his intentions from the get go...came at me hard and never stopped and I just did not know how to deal with this...it was too...ummmh... raw! TH had made it clear that as long as I said yes, we weren't going to stop till we got to the altar cuz he was sure I was the one. He wanted me to trust him with everything I was, and had and even after pouring out my past; the bad, the badder and the ugly, homeboy didn't even blink. Still, I needed those 7 days to confirm what God was saying so I took TH to the bible to compare and I have to confess, he passed with flying colors. So I took the plunge, said yes and the rest is history.

So this is our timeline: we met in '06... started courting in '07...got engaged in '08, tied the knot in '09 and had our son baby boy in '10. Consistent huh? LOL. Th truly is my biggest cheerleader, confidante and friend and I have to say I married him with both eyes open.

So that's my story... Hope it inspires you all! If you have any questions, feel free to email me at Inthemidstofher@gmail.com

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

The results are in...

2011-06-10T23:01:00.000-04:00

Thanks for participating!

...Will be posting my story next week!

...musings from atop the potters wheel...

We are 2 yrs old!!!

2011-06-06T13:41:00.003-04:00

This day,2 years ago, I married my husband. In those two years his love, strength, patience and maturity has made me a better woman. To say I love him is like a fat kid saying he takes Ice cream once in a while...a HUGE understatement! To share my joy of this occasion, I wanted to post about my wedding or how we courted or marriage so far; but instead of choosing which story to tell... I am going to do one better! I am letting you guys choose!

So this is how it works....I want you to choose between the following
1-The first time we met
2-How we became a couple
3-Our wedding day

(Trust me, as drama prone as I am, each one is very juicy!)

Pick one and email me at Inthemidstofher@gmail.com or just look to the right of the page under "contact me" and leave a note. The number with the highest ratings will win.

This poll ends on Friday and the winning post will be up the following week.

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel.

Through his eyes...

2011-05-29T00:40:00.002-04:00

Have you ever seen a beautiful woman; a woman so "HOT" in looks, luxury, style that you think she must have every guy eating out of her hand? Then come to find out the girl is single or on her 3rd husband or just been cheated on for the 5th time? I have...and it keeps me wondering how women so beautiful could also be so unlucky in love.

For example, a few weeks ago,for the umpteenth time, I turned to hubby and said "I just dont understand why a beautiful lady like {Insert actress name}; who by the way, has been named "The most beautiful woman in the World" multiple times has been cheated on by every guy she has "publicly" been with! I didn't bring this up to mock her, I guess I just thought that every hot girl must have it made in the love department. Since guys are so "visual" and she was verrrry "visually appealing"...Checkmate! End of story right?

Hubby's response was quite profound... "Obirin sowa nu, O lohun o lori oko" (English translation: A woman with no manners shouldn't wonder why she has no man). I was shocked but understood better after he explained.

Men have been given the bad (but often true) rap of not being able to see beyond the exterior of a woman; so we girls are taught real early on the art of "Notice me".

Wait, you do know the art of "Notice me" right? While some ladies are barely passing "the class", some other chicks have gotten their PhD in it.

We wear the "right clothes",laugh a certain way, never finding out who we truly are and just developing whatever personality fits the boy; and it does work (Every girl who's seen her crush walk off with the most popular girl in class, pls stand up!)... at least for a while. Then the guys grow older, more mature and find out that that "look" or "laugh" or "shape" just isn't enough anymore. They need a bit more...ummmh, what is it called...Oh yeah ..."substance". They leave the "crowd" and are ready to settle. Unfortunately, some of us women either get the memo late or not at all because as the years pass by, here we are still playing the "notice me" games; developing the exterior and forgetting the interior.

What do men see when they look at you? Some shiny new toy that they just "have to have" and like their old toys, they soon get bored with? Or are you that diamond in the rough; a priceless jewel they've been searching for.

To all my ladies who have spent their life developing the interior as well as the exterior but feel you have always been overlooked by men... Know your man is out there still searching for you so don't lose hope. To all my ladies who are tired of being picked and dropped time after time, take a season off to search yourself, find out who you are and unearth that precious gem God has placed in every one of us.

Know who you are!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Motherhood so far....

2011-05-21T16:36:00.001-04:00

I have written so much about love and marriage and relationships but it seems I am leaving out a HUGE part of my life...my heart...my being....MY SON!. Aaaah when I think of my son,my eyes well up ( like right now....) and I can't help but fall in love again, LOL...don't mind me! I LOVE being a mother...it is one of the top 3 reasons God made me. So in honor of my son...my love... here is a list of 5 things being a momsie has taught me...

1-MOTHERHOOD IS DA BOMB!

I can't explain the joy I've felt being a mother. It's like there was a secret compartment of my heart that was unlocked with the birth of my son. I love the tiredness, extra work, responsibility and busyness of motherhood.

2-YOUR HUBBY MATTERS....

The second Baby boy came out of me; it was ALL about him. I lived him... breathed him...and hubby some how ended up on the back burner. HOOOOOOOLLLLLLLD UPPPPPPP! Unless there was some kind of immaculate conception X2; I wouldn't be able to have baby boy! I have now realized that Hubby still matters. Even though I am tempted to pull a "Super woman" every time my son is in need... I now see that baby boy deserves/needs/demands a fully capable and involved daddy

3-IT CAN MAKE OR BREAK A RELATIONSHIP

Motherhood is not a joke! The arrival of a child can be the glue that makes your relationship tighter or the wrecking ball that breaks it apart. I have heard of women who think they can make a man stay/love them/act right by getting pregnant. Absolutely not! Parenthood is such work that unless both hubby and wifey both willingly make the baby; it could rip them apart. Please ladies never EVER use a baby as anything but a baby...

4-IT IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO LET YOURSELF GO

I have mentioned this in a previous post, I have always dreaded becoming those women who have one baby and automatically switch to wearing bubu`s and wrappers constantly in the house. Motherhood is not an excuse to let yourself go; but to keep up the sexyness and this can only be done by caring for yourself as much as you care for your baby.

5-I WILL DEFINTELY BE DOING THIS AGAIN!!!!

Need I say more.... *wink*

Disclaimer: The above positive pregnancy test does not belong to me!!!

...musings from atop the potter`s wheel...

Hi....My name is Ruth!

2011-05-15T00:43:00.000-04:00

Ruth Abokoku

Have you heard the term before? If you are Nigerian but especially yoruba you might know what it means but to all my peeps who dont...it is a term used to describe a woman who loves her man even to the the point of death ( abokoku literally means " to die with your husband"). It was taken from the biblical story of Ruth who refused to leave her husband's home even after she became a widow.

Nowadays, it is a term used to describe a girl who loves her husband "too much". I have been called that name maaaaaany times but let me ask; why is it such a bad thing. If you have a man that loves, respects, pampers and treats you right, is it such a crime to love him just as much?

I have heard many ladies give/receive advice to "Never love your man with all your heart so that you don't end up used and abused"..."Only marry a man who loves you more than you love him so that you will never be too emotionally entangled to leave if you have to"

Once your man has worked and proven himself worthy of your heart; there is no point in being guarded. Sometimes we treat love as a weapon, trying to see who can hurt the other most or who can be the most untouchable in regards to pain brought on by the other.If your man has proven himself worthy of the key to your heart...just let go!

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Please Pray for me....

2011-05-04T20:48:00.001-04:00

No.... no Hubby and baby boy are fine. We are alive and healthy, no death in the family and the bills are being paid.

So why do I need prayers?

SO THAT I DON'T END UP ON THE 6'O CLOCK NEWS FOR KNOCKING SOME PREGNANT 14 YR OLD OUT OOOOH!!!

Oh my goodness....I am sick and tired of sassy 14 yr old coming into my office to deliver their 3rd baby from their 3rd baby daddy and being completely oblivious to the reality of the situation.

I don't mean to bring my work to my blog but can I vent for a sec?...Thanks!

Today was such a weird day. Knowing where I work, I should be used to "Ghettoness" and the results of uneducation but still... once in a while, I get those cases that make me go WHAT?????

First, I had this patient.....17...19...? (dont even remember,can't tell you how many pregnant 15,16,17's I have seen this week) yr old girl who comes in with her baby daddy for a usual pre-natal(she's about 7 mths pregnant)check up. We've been treating her for std'S (Plural my people....) over and over but she still comes back re-infected. So, we used this opportunity to tell baby daddy that he needs to be treated and that he keeps on re-infecting her. Obviously it's not my business who gave whom what but it's dangerous cuz she's pregnant right?

ETA: Just remembered...she's 21

Homeboy, 18 yr old... spends the entire visit playing video games...even when I was doing a painful pelvic exam on her and she was begging him to hold her hand, he just kept playing and nodding once in a while to what was being said.!!

After the exam, we mention it again about him needing to be treated...guess what home girl says...." Can I still perform O**L sex on him before he gets treated...I don't want STD on my breath". I tell you I almost whipped out a belt on this girl! (Since we are in America, and I am not trying to lose my job, I just kept this fake smile on my face and prayed she wasn't a mind reader) Is that the height of your concern? You have multiple STD's that might make you not eligible for a normal vaginal delivery and you are asking if you can still do "stuff"!! Who gave you the boat load of yama yama you are carrying?

Another patient of mine was a 17yr old who just had her 1st baby in Jan/10 for one daddy and was coming back preggo again for another daddy.

(Satan get behind me...I will not succumb to the temptation to beat her down with my 2lb shoe)

To top it off, she too had some STD that needed antibiotics ....

Hmmm..Life goes on...That it enough for now... need to get some sleep so I can be energized for my 13yr olds tommorow

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Flashbacks....

2011-04-27T22:31:00.001-04:00

Prov 9 vs 6: Leave your simple ways behind, and begin to live; learn to use good judgment." (NLT)

When I was much younger, I created a list of things I wanted in my future husband. Looking back, its so funny that I decided to share. This list is in no particular order....

1) Must be Nigerian
2)Must be 6ft or taller
3)Preferably the last born of his parents
4) Must be an equal balance between Naija and American ( Not so ajebutter that if we both went to 9ja, we would end up kidnapped and sold into slavery...but also not so razz that I couldn't take him anywhere)
5)Must have Masters or higher...
6)Must not talk more than I do
7)Must be masculine yet soft and sensitive
8)Must love all types of music
9)MUST!!! have nice hands
10)Must be a great dresser.

.....You can stop laughing now!

Looking back at this list, even though I applaud myself for being disciplined enough to know what I wanted...or thought I wanted...I can't help but laugh at my naivete. I notice that I did not write anything about love...God...ethics...family or even maturity; things I would later crave in a man as I lived and got more mature.

Thankful that God is not the answerer of foolish prayers..lol

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Blindfolded...

2011-04-23T13:59:00.002-04:00

I had a friend in college who was dating this really nice guy. He was respectable, funny, sincere, caring and obviously head over heels in love with my friend; he didn't even bother trying to hide it from the world....He was in Love. Fast forward about 2-3 yrs later and the relationship ended... she broke up with him. He cried...begged...swore he would do whatever it took... but the answer was NO. She was done. When I later spoke to my friend, she confided in me that although he was all I had described him to be, she broke up with him because the "...sex was bad" She had told him many times and even though he "tried" to make things better, she just couldn't deal with it anymore. I later on called him to console and encourage him without letting on that I knew the reason.

Have you ever heard of the 80:20 rule?

The 80:20 rule tries to simplify why people cheat,eyes wander or are chronically dissatisfied with their mate. It states that most people receive 80% of what they need from their partners. If by happenstance they met someone they are attracted to outside of their mate, most likely it is because that person has the 20% their mate is lacking. Unfortunately a person can be so hypnotized by the 20% they've been missing that they leave the 80% behind; by the time they've realized, its too late.

So let's use the above story to put this rule in perspective. The guy was kind gentle, respectful, giving etc but because he wasn't ALWAYS "satisfying her in bed", all the above wasn't worth it anymore. So if home girl started dating a guy who rocked her world in that dept but was lacking every other thing, she would have become a victim of the 80:20 rule.

Although I used sex to explain this rule, the 80:20 rule can be seen in things from weight, to money, to race to looks. I know plenty guys use a girl's weight as a measure of her worth (roll eyes)but I most especially see it in girls turning guys away because of their looks.

Disclaimer
1-Yes, I do know that it is important for a couple to be attracted to each other
2-Yes, I do know it is not a sin to want to be attracted to your partner.

...but I DO know couples who were not initially attracted to each other but after getting to know each other, the attraction blossomed and resulted in marriage!

From growing up surrounded by boys and once being a tomboy myself, I have found out a secret a LOOOOOT of girls need to know...Ready for it?...Drum roll please... When it comes to men, you can't judge a book by it's cover! There are some reeeaaaallly awesome men out there whom we overlook due to some criteria or another but I assure you,if we took the time to leaf through the outer layer we would be so shocked by what we see. Beneath lies GOLD!

So before we turn a man away, let's look for the hidden treasures his heart might hold!

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Side Note on Sex:
Without a shadow of doubt sex is EXTREMELY important in a relationship but unfortunately due to the explicit world we live in, and a bunch of industry produced lies we at times fall prey too; people, especially christian virgins go into marriage thinking its going to be the best thing since slice bread. So much emphasis is placed on it that other traits of ones partner is lost based on what he can or can not make you feel... (but that's a topic for another day...lol)

Appreciating Our Men

2011-04-18T22:42:00.001-04:00

Oh No he didn't!!!!

Those were the words that flew out of my mouth when I turned on the Kitchen lights this morning. There was oil and stew splattered all over my stove and I was ready to hurt my husband! I was fuming! I grabbed my phone and dialed my mom.

Me: Iya ni Wura are you up? I need to speak with you
Iya ni wura: What's wrong? Is everything ok?...
Me: Mom, I am so mad! I can't take this can you believe what happened? I woke up this morning and Hubby left my kitchen in a mess! I work hard all day and work and then come back to find my place in a mess? Why can't he help me out a bit...
Iya ni Wura: Calm down....calm down se! I can't believe you are calling me over a stove?
Me: This isn't only about the stove, it is about the African man! Even though I work as hard as he does, It's me who comes home to be the housegirl...Ahhh, e no go easy tonite ooh...
INW: Shut your mouth, when did you start talking rubbish like an "area girl".... calm down and start from the beginning...

Me: ok...last night, hubby said he wanted to cook stew
INW: ok....
Me: I did not ask him oooh but he volunteered
INW: OK...
Me: So he started cooking... banging and clanging...I couldn't even watch my TV show
INW: This girl is not serious
Me: After a while, I was so tired I left him in the kitchen cooking and when I woke up this morning, the kitchen was a mess! You did not raise me to be a housegirl...I wont take this mom.
INW: OK, wait calm down, let me ask you some questions. So hubby volunteered to make soup last night for you?
Me: Yes...
INW: I guess while he was making it you were watching TV cuz you mentioned his banging of pots was distracting...
Me: Yes..
INW: What did you mean he burned you with hot oil?
Me: He was frying fish for the stew and while trying to feed me a piece of fish, some dropped on my arm...it was painful!
INW: ...and you mentioned you left him there to go to bed right? What time was this?
Me: About 12.30am, I think he was up till about 1 am

(Silence...)

Me: Mom...?? Mom...?

INW: I did not raise you to be a house girl but neither did I raise you to be an ungrateful feminist brat! Let me get this straight... Even though he had work in the morning your husband stayed up till the wee hours of the morning volunteering to make soup while you sat watching TV....fine...husbands can cook as well; but you are complaining because when he came to feed you fish some hot crumbs fell on you and over the fact that he didn't scrub the stove clean before he went to bed? Enhhh? Is this what you are calling me about?

Me: (Silence)

INW: He stayed up, helped with cooking, fed you treats while you watched TV.... and all this is erased because he did not scrub the stove at 1 am in the morning? Do you know how many women would sell their souls to have what you have...

Me:I didn't see it that way....I am sorry...

Disclaimer: Partly Fiction!
I did wake up to a messy stove but I did not call my mother..lol. The fact that hubby made stew and fed me little treats while I lounged watching TV completely made up for it. In fact, I was grateful for marrying a husband who did not see certain tasks as "women's work" and I knew that if he had the time, he would have scrubbed the kitchen clean. It was while I cleaned up the next morning that I jokingly thought of this story.

Women let's encourage and appreciate our men when they try to help; no matter the little mistakes that might accompany it. Some women don't have it that easy....

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

I'm back!

2011-04-17T19:51:00.000-04:00

Hey Ladies...

I am back and my oh my what a wonderful trip it's been! Oh man, spending this time alone with hubby on a cruise was delightful and Disney=Magic; no questions!! It was TRULY worth every single penny! They made my week magical. Anyhoos... too tired to say much more; this mini post was basically to say I was back in town.

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

We're off to the BAHAMAS!!!!

2011-04-08T16:11:00.001-04:00

Hubby and I are simultaneously on vacation so we decided to feed our "travel fever" and go on a 4 day Bahamas cruise. We chose Disney because their cruises are first class and we weren't in the mood to hang out with drunk topless babes and college frat kids on spring break. I am so excited!

This is my first cruise and I wouldn't share this experience with any other.... Downside is my son,babyboy, is not coming ( I got bullied by hubby and my mom to leave him behind...lol); I do understand though, hubby and I need some alone time so I am not too sad!

So it's going to be quiet for a while on my blog but I will be back next week with pics and 411... Spent this week shopping and packing cuz Hubby go take!!! Time to spice it up again...Island style! *wink*
See you in a week!

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

My Criteria...the measure of a man. { Part 3-Conclusion}

2011-04-04T23:07:00.002-04:00

Hey ladies, this is the conclusion to the "Measure of a man" series. I purposely left this last verse out because I really wanted us to think about this one seriously.

vs 11:In the same way, their wives [fn] must be respected and must not speak evil of others. They must exercise self-control and be faithful in everything they do.

It starts with the phrase "In the same way..." what does this mean? Basically we women should be measured by the same standards we have placed before these men!

Ok, we have listed all these criteria for "real men" but let me ask you; do you honestly think you deserve it? As we look for faithfulness, commitment, maturity, discipline; do we see all these qualities in ourselves?

We women need to work on ourselves and stop asking for qualities that we don't have within.

It is so easy to have a laundry list of what we want in a man, but rarely do we create lists for characteristics we must have in ourselves before going into marriage.

I have met some good men who meet the wrong women and came out the relationship scathed and from their experiences became players. We don't want to be the reason for one less man on the eligibility market.

Bottom line...
1-Work on yourself, be the best you can be,
2-don't ask for qualities you yourself don't have
3-if you don't have the right qualities, see #1

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

My Criteria...the measure of a man. { Part 2}

2011-03-28T21:40:00.005-04:00

Hey Ladies.... This is the 2nd part of my "measure of a man" write up. On the first part,I got a lot of positive feedback for which I am grateful for but before I continue; let me re-iterate a fact; while I did use the bible to gauge Hubby, it was by NO means an easy process. I do not want you ladies thinking it was a piece of cake. There was a lot of turmoil because though I knew the right to do, it was still hard to do. It took a lot of prayer, tears and guidance.....Be it far from me to act like I got it all on lock down

Whew! Now that that`s over....back to the post! Hehe

Vs 3:He must not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must be gentle, peace loving, and not one who loves money.

Need I elaborate on this one? Basically, don't marry Remi I wont insult your intelligence by thinking you need more than that.

Vs 4:He must manage his own family well, with children who respect and obey him.

First of all, is he mature enough to lead a family?. Can you actually see yourself being submissive to him, respecting his leadership and if the situation calls for it obeying when you strongly feel in opposition? These are important questions that shouldn't be left on the back burner till it becomes an issue later on.

What's his take on family and having children. Do you want to have 1 while he wants you to have 10 or vice versa? Does he believe in disciplining a child.

Vs 6:An elder must not be a new Christian, because he might be proud of being chosen so soon, and the Devil will use that pride to make him fall.

For this, mentally replace "new Christian" with "Newly single"

Even within the church, there are brothers who go around as my sister once said "collecting a jar of hearts"(Sister,Sister, 2011). Today he says how God placed Sis Yemi on his heart and then the next day he states he saw Sis Carol in a Vision. He walks around getting to know a bunch of sisters at the same time stirring up emotions he has no plans of following through on. The problem is that a new Christian might not necessarily know how to distinguish between the voice of God and the voice of his own heart. Also a new Christian/Newly single might not have spent enough time stabilizing and rooting himself in the word so marriage might not be the appropriate next step. Am I saying if a New Christian is interested in you run to the hills? NO! but if you are interested in him,take some time to get to know him, see where he stands, pray and follow God`s prompting.

Another issue is fake "Church brothers"! Hubby told me how a lot of guys, after wasting their lives and having all the fun their bodies can handle, realize that it's time to get married....so off to church they merrily go. They speak the lingo, raise their hands during a couple of songs,shed tears at the appropriate time (Oh how we women love men who are "not afraid to show their emotions") and flash a smile to the sisters in church. As soon as they lure a sister away, they then show their true colors. Ladies be on alert!

vs 7:Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. Likewise [must] the deacons [be] grave, not double tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.

- I think these points have been mentioned in previous verses... Let's move on.

vs 10,13:And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being [found] blameless...For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.

I like the word "proved". Ladies let the guy prove himself worthy of what you are about to give him; your heart.

Him: Hey can I ask you a question?
Her ( Eyes wide)...yes...sure...definitely... go ahead... I am all ears..Don't be nervous, you can ask me anything... you know I understand you and we've been friends forever... so be brave...ask me!
Him: Oooook...Umm, I was just going to ask if you knew what time it was.

Lol...Repeat after me. " Stalking not allowed..."

No matter how much you like him, let him prove himself by being an initiator of a relationship. There is no question, if a man knows what he wants, he will go HARD after it. We don't need to do their jobs for them. The way a man approaches you, toasts you and initiates a relationships speaks TONS about the man he is and will continue to be. Read him like a book girl!

Side note: To all my ladies who are like me and find the "only men should initiate" rule a hard pill to swallow (I swallow it nonetheless); do you know there are ways to show your interest and " help a brother out" without even saying a word? Think about it...lol

The last verse I want to talk about and purposely skipped over is verse 11. This is a verse I intend to do a whole post and the conclusion to this series on. Once again ladies (and random gentleman)...stay tuned!

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

My Criteria...the measure of a man. { Part 1}

2011-03-23T13:41:00.004-04:00

I was asked by a faithful reader how to I chose my hubby... I will honestly share with you the criteria I set for myself.

Funny fact: First thing I said when I was introduced to hubby was " Not in a million yrs..." a beautiful baby and a blissful 1.5 yrs later I still laugh at my naivete. ( Might do a post on that later...*wink*)

I won't go into toooo much details but I will like to share the standards I set before myself (Disclaimer: It wasn't an easy process, my flesh was in constant battle with my spirit because there were some senseless things I wanted in a man and it was hard letting them go for God) and I hope it will show my single ladies ways we can choose a man that pleases God and follows his commandments. So let me introduce you all to my 1 Tim man.

...and the room echos "1 Tim man???" ...lol

1 Timothy 3 is a chapter in the bible in which Paul tells the Timothy what to look for in an elder of the church. I had always thought that if God desires this in a man who was going to lead the church, then it def wouldn't hurt to have the same criteria in my hubby.

Vs 1: It is a true saying that if someone wants to be an elder, [fn] he desires an honorable responsibility.

Mentally replace "elder" with "husband"

First of all does the guy you are looking at even want to get married. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about guys who meet you at 5am and propose at 5.45 am. I mean is this a guy who is open to being a relationship with the intentions of getting married. Too often I meet girls who think they have the prowess to change men. The guy just want dey do "fine boy" around town but we swear our love...beauty...bodies...trust or whatever is capable of changing this guy's heart.

Umm....say this with me....YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE A MAN NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! Only God can.

So you sit there, hoping and praying he'll come around till you turn into

This is not the way!

Vs 2: For an elder must be a man whose life cannot be spoken against. He must be faithful...exhibit self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation...

*Sigh* Where do I even begin with this part...it is chock full of wisdom.

Ladies, a man... not just one namely because of his gender...but a true man is known when seen; the only problem is that we tend to be blinded by other things. Sometimes looks are valued above love, money above maturity and Sex above Sense. Does your man have a life that is beyond reproach? I have a cousin...a guy... all you have to do is stand in the middle of our state and mention his first name, and he is automatically known for the car he drives,the money he flashes and unfortunately the hearts he has broken. Can you introduce your man in public and still hold your head up high or will you have throngs of girls able to tell you your man's favorite food, what kind of aftershave he wears and what color his sheets are. A true man will have a lifestyle above reproach, not saying without mistake but one who lives his life on a low key.

Another question you need to ask is if your man has self control. Let me get Uncle Webster to help me out on this one..

Self Control: restraint exercised over one's own impulses, emotions, or desires

Does this sound like your man...Can he resist temptation when you are not around? Or are his eyes glued to have female thing that crosses his path. Does he flirt? Have about 1000 female friends and 1 male friend.

Does he need to have the latest Prada shirt, Gucci Jeans, Hummer or IPAD 2 just because it is out there. Now trust me I love when my hubby looks good! He works hard and deserves to play hard but you will never catch him putting the want of something over his family. I recently saw a documentary of a guy in Italy with family in his home country of Morocco. He said he barely sent money to his wife and kid because he likes to eat in restaurants and at the end of the month, there is barely anything to send.

Ridiculous!

To be continued....

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

State of the Union....

2011-03-16T22:13:00.000-04:00

( I just told my hubby what I'm about to write about and he laughed....Can't be telling tooo many of our secrets. I told you he was private abi? heheh)

If the topic made you think this was going to be about politics; sorry! This is def not about the state of any political union but the state of the marriage union.

So, after I got married, Hubby and I started the practice of doing improptu "State of our union" meetings where we actually sit down and list the "what we're loving"..."not so loving"... and "definitely need to work on" areas of our marriage. This started out of the blue but the results have been so good and eye opening that we do it regularly.

Rules....
1-WHEN
Isaiah 1 vs 18:Come now, let us reason together...

SOTU meetings can be called at your discretion.It could just be a time to meet, reflect, thanking God for the love you have and the lifetime you are working out with each other. In my marriage, it is something we do very impromptu. I can't lie though,there have been times we've had to have Emergency meetings when something needs to be discussed ASAP! but we don't have a set calendar date because we don't want this too predictable.

1- The setting
Psalm 23 vs 2:he leads me beside quiet waters...

This is usually a calm quiet time (usually evening cuz you know evenings were made for love...hehe) where we are alone. It makes sense to do this alone not only to have some privacy but also because it allows you to give your husband your full attention. You could put some soft music own,light some candles, put some drinks out...set the atmosphere to be one of love.

2-Words
Provs 15 vs 1:A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

Ahh words, my friend and my enemy....
It is very important to know how to choose your words in this situation. The point of this conversation is to honestly critique your marriage and partner; but we all know how easily good intentions can be completely mangled by the wrong words.This is not a time to point fingers or accuse the other of wrong doing. Rather this is the time to listen, take notes and see yourself through your hubby's eyes. It is a time to honestly state how you feel and what you need from each other to make this great thing even greater.

3-Put your emotions aside.
Prov 10 vs 12:Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.

Ladies, this is a time to bring out your superwoman. Why? There will be situations where your husband might have a laundry list of things he would love for you to work on! If you're like me, having the man you love tell you you're not perfect is a big pill to swallow. But one thing I can guarantee you...if you become emotional (crying, arguing, screaming) the next time you want to have a "State of the Union" discussion, your husband will run for his life. Personally, I had to prove to hubby that no matter what he had to say, I was willing to hear it; now there is a chance that an issue might be a matter of misunderstanding and I do often get a chance to defend myself but first and foremost I need to LISTEN before defending myself.

4-Aftermath
Provs 17 vs 9:Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.

What are you going to do with what you've learnt? Ideally, a topic of critique should be worked on by you and your husband so that the next meeting you have will not be a re-run of the last session. This should be seen as another team effort between you both in order to make this union stronger and all issues clearly out in the open for you both to deal with.

At the end of each session, no matter what the other said, end it on a good note! Don't let the issues you discussed be carried in your heart in a negative way. You could end the session with anything from prayer to making love...or both! Either way do something to seal the conversation in a soothing way and show there are no hard feelings.

Ladies, no one can strengthen nor weaken your marriage without your permission and whoever says marriage is easy is a big LIAR. It is something we need to work hard at but trust me the benefits are sooooooooooooooo sweet!

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Spice it up...flippin' da script!

2011-03-12T00:53:00.000-05:00

Ok, this is an unplanned continuation of the Spice it up series. As you guys know hubby and I went to see Hillsong last night in NYC and Oh my goodnes....It was ABSOLUTELY FANTABOULOUSLY EXCELENT!!! I had so much fun with hubby and I feel so blessed to have been there. I screamed so loud, I actually lost my voice. It was so fun...Praise God.

Now, as I mentioned before, I had no plans of writing this but something happened yesterday that left me so surprised I had to write about it. So for the concert, I decided to get a new outfit and during the whole time of shopping, I did not let hubby see or know what I was doing. About 1 hr before we left, I just dressed up and showed him what I was wearing. Oh my goodness, Hubby was flabbergasted cuz I completely flipped the script on who I was.

Let me explain...

During the week, I am pretty conservative. To you guys who know what I do for a living, it is understandable why I can't just roll out of bed and hit the streets. So my wardrobe is pretty predictable. Well for the Hillsong concert, I knew it was a rock concert, so I had an image of who I wanted to be for that night; something along the lines of

I completely surprised hubby by being semi-punk rock that night. I got an outfit that was daring ( pls note daring does not mean nude)in the sense of "not my everyday outfits" and I was a different person for the night. Hair included!

Well, it worked. Hubby was pleased...shocked...but pleased and he kept staring at me through out the night and I knew I definitely held his attention even through the concert. It made me realize in marriage, spicing things up does not end in the bedroom or kitchen! It involves who you are...keeping things young...fresh...new and creative.

I wonder who I'll be next time...;) ;) ;)

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

HILLSONG!!!!!!!

2011-03-08T22:03:00.000-05:00

GUESS WHAT GUYS?? Hubby is taking me to a Hillsong concert this week. YEEESSSSS!!! Those who know me know that HILLSONG is my bestest...most favoritest....most loving-all-the time band in the world. Before hubby and I got married,I made him promise that one day before we die,we'll attend one of their concerts in Australia; but I am super excited that they are coming down to the states.

PS: Babe, I know you are reading this. Don't think cuz we're going to a concert here in the states it negates your promise to take me to Aussieland...lol.

...musings from atop the potter's wheel....

Lips...Tongue...Fire

2011-03-02T12:53:00.002-05:00

So Hubby and I spent sunday watching Nollywood. I LOVE!!!! watching nolly with hubby because he HATES!!!! it so much. It's hilarious...He'll endure watching it with me because he loves me but every second is painful for him. In most nolly,the scripts are predictable, the acting unconvincing (pls have you seen them fight karate before....don't even get me started), the audio head splitting and the commercials tiring but my people....I LOVE IT! It is actually the flaws that make me love it more. I am more of a yoruba movie watcher but when hubby is really being tough to convince, I'll settle for an English one just for him.

Neway, I digress...

So we spend Sunday watching Nollywood and we watched one in particular that was actually a lesson teacher. A girl basically blurts out her hubby's biz on the streets and it comes back to wreck her home in the worst way...

Now, I know I need not preach about gossiping nor will I, but this post is about a different kind of gossip...telling people the happenings between you and your husband.

THE BAD...
One of the first things momsie told me as I prepared to get married was no matter what is happening under your roof , NEVER tell a friend. " You friend will mock you for accepting N1 for soup money and swear that she could never accept that trash...she would even go a step further to coach you on how to confront your man and rip him apart to show that you will not take it. Then after destroying your marriage, she will crawl back to her own house where her husband gives her 25K for soup money and she does not have the liver to say a word" ( My momsie dearest, 2009). It doesn't even have to be telling friends with malicious thoughts towards you; sometimes telling those who love you the most is equally harmful to your marriage. Hubby told me not too long ago " So if I run to my mom every time something happens between us, you think She will be able to be 100% unbiased? All she will be thinking of is her child and how you've hurt me" (The Chronicles of my Wise Hubby, 2011). This is so true, the people who truly love us...well, truly love us! and this makes it hard to be totally unbiased. Guess what? After you and hubby have had that fight and made up and are all lovey-dovey, depending on how much you've hurt him, his loved ones will STILL see you through the eyes of the mistakes you made.

OK, so first rule, don't be so quick to tell the wrongs in your home...CHECK!

What about the rights? Can I tell my peeps about hubby's new promotion, or that time he gucci'ed me out, or how he loves me in pink?

Umm...Yes and No!

THE GOOD...
Another mistake we ladies make is boasting about our men and this can be a home wrecker too. I once saw a Nolly movie where a housewife (let's call her Ms loose lips) would tell her single neighbor (Ms Neighbor) everything her man does for her. She would tell of his favorite dish, stop by to show her new bracelet, tell her how her hubby likes a particular scent, how he loves her in tight jeans... you know... the whole 9. Guess what, after being tired of watching her own daughter in an abusive marriage, Mrs Neighbor starts coaching her daughter on the things Ms Loose lip's husband likes! Cut a long story short, someone gets pregnant and it definitely wasn't Ms Loose lips.

We need to know that there are somethings between you and hubby that need to stay there. Not every problem must be shared just as well as not every accomplishment must be announced. Let there be things that only you and hubby know. I love coupples who have secret jokes between them. You see them at a party, huddled together laughing at the most innocent thing and when you ask them what's the joke, they just smile and say... "You wouldn't get it".

Personally, this is something I have to work on. I am a people person (code for talkative!) and within this trait I have no problems divulging things I am comfortable with you knowing buuuuuuuuutttt, since I am now a married woman, I have to remember that even though I am comfy with spilling my guts, hubby is not. Hubby is a VERY private person who hates any situation that puts his biz out there, so in all I do, I have to remember this. It's not all about me anymore!

James 3 vs6: And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. (NASB)

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

My heart...forever stained?

2011-02-24T23:09:00.002-05:00

I know what it feels to have another man's fingerprints on your heart. My name is You and this is your story.

MY PAST...

I had begged him to stay. I cried till I thought I would die. I woke up with tears in my eyes and when sleep came by, mercifully lulling me of to a place of silence, I would wake up the next morning, on my knees with dry salt from my tears mapping out on my face the grief I felt in my heart.

The day he left, he took with him my dignity, my pride and my joy. In his wake,I was left ashamed, hurt and angry that I could allow a man to put in this place. It was a man who made me wish death upon myself, it was a man whom I had raised so highly in my life that the thought of not waking up to him in my life made me scared of life itself. It was a man...

MY PRESENT...

5 yrs later

I am hesitant in writing this, afraid anyone reading this will get the wrong impression, think that I don't realize that Hubby is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me... think that I am not appreciative and grateful for this second chance God has given me to love and be loved. Don't get me wrong, I am!!

But...

I wonder how long I can keep this up, keep struggling to no avail, keep up the facade while trying to scrub clean the telltale marks another man has left behind on my heart.

I know my husband wonders why I never cry. Growing up, he always knew girls to be "cry babies" always whining about something and it was only a matter of time before the water works started. Then as he got older...mature...saved... he realized, appreciated and respected the beauty of a woman and just accepted our emotions as another gift from God.

I remember him being proud of me early off in our relationship at how strong I was. We would sit through many a "chick flick" and while most girls would be sighing and dabbing their eyes dry, I would sit there, eyes dry as a stone and irritated at the weakness these girls were showing. Hubby would hi-five me and say "That's my girl...Solid as a rock!!!!"

It became a "positive" asset. I was strong; but when it came to arguments with hubby, this same positive asset became my undoing...our undoing. Those were the times, he, my past, crept in.

I hated conflict and tried to stay away from arguments with hubby; but like in every marriage, there were always bound to be some. With every fight we had; big or small, I would use it as a chance to prove, not to my husband , not even to myself but to him that I would NEVER be that girl again. I had to show him I was strong. Even though I hadn't seen him in years, with every emotional blow, I was sending him a subliminal message that I wasn't that old person, that little girl who had her heart so easily broken! I was STRONG!

No one would ever do THAT to me again

I would always go for the jugular because in my head it was a race to hurt him before he hurt me. Shed his blood as he had shed mine.. You see, in those times of anger, he and hubby were one. In those moments, I couldn't differentiate between my past and present. It was all a blur, a dark hazy fog that would leave me petrified and striking out at anything moved. Unfortunately, it was always hubby.

In the wake of my anger; few things were always certain.

1-I would still be standing "strong", emotionally intact, the amazonian that I am, unbreakable, eyes dry as a stone, heart still as strong as steel... intact.

2-Emotionally Hubby would be on his knees, hurt, in shock, trying to figure understand how the same mouth that had vowed to love him and be his best friend till death do us part was the same mouth that had said the vilest, most painful and degrading things to him.

Oh yeah, I would apologize, beg, tell Hubby how sorry I was and swear it would never happen again but just as sure as the sun rose; we would wind up in the same position.

Do you see his fingerprints...all over my heart... he makes me forget my husband as the wonderful man that he is. The man who worshiped the ground I walked on, the man who would give up his life just to make mine easier. the man who would cross the enemies camp to bring me water from my favorite well...my husband...

I hate him so much, I unconsciously take it out on my husband...

Today, hubby and I are are happy, well sort of, because the tension is there... you can feel it in the air. Both us walking on egg shells wondering how long this fragile world of peace would last...how long before Hubby would have to pay for the sins of another man...how long before hubby would have to deal with another man's fingerprints on his wife's heart.

MY FUTURE

???

...musings from atop the potters wheel...

My "Glass Cup" theory...

2011-02-19T04:35:00.001-05:00

I have a heart for everything relationship and marriage....I mean biblical relationships and marriage.I have witnessed and even made mistakes regarding love and these experiences make me more than willing to share, advise and speak up about love. My girlfriends know I loooove the topic and will not bat an eye about you calling me up at 2 am for advice; well maybe before I had a baby..lol!. One thing I always tell my young ladies (Lol.. Here I am again sounding old when I am still rocking my twenties)is my "GLASS CUP" theory.

...and the room echos " glass cup theory"??" LOL

In my mind, I truly believe that a woman's heart is a glass cup and I am not talking frailty here! Imagine we're at a party, we're all having fun, doing our thang when I, at one side of the room, realizes I forgot my drink on the other side of the room. So I yell over to my girl Jaycee to pass it down. She passes it to the girl next to her who passes it to the girl next to her and so on. By the time it gets to me, I realize my virgin strawberry daiquiri is not only half gone but the glass has about 100 fingerprints on it. Now what are these fingerprints? Basically they are the markings; a stamp you could even say, of every person who touched it and now left behind.

I do believe that the woman's heart is like this glass cup because the more she passes it on, through everything from one night stands,flings,and mindless flirting to relationships that are going absolutely nowhere (We've been "courting" for 10 yrs but we're still seeking God's about marriage) we stain our hearts by carrying things of the other person into our marriage.

Imagine being married 5 years later with all the fingerprints of the men you went through on your heart. You love your husband but you realizes that he doesn't cook for you like Femi did ( forgetting the fact that Femi was cooking for about 100 other woman as well), he doesn't have the gorgeous smile that Yinka did ( even though Yinka's smile never lasted more than 10 mins before he usually blew up in anger) and last but not least he doesn't have half as much money as Yemi (even though Yemi ended up in Jail for 419). Consciously/Unconsciously, you start comparing, questioning and expecting things that may not be part of your hubby's personality package or something he is still growing into.

It is not only past relationships that leave a woman's heart " finger stained" It could be a bad childhood; (We Nigerians need to recognize rape is a REAL Nigerian epidemic shrouded by secrecy. Parents, instead of dealing with the issues either don't believe their children (more for their sake than of their kids) or send them away. But that is a topic for another day.) It could be a failed marriage, the loss of a loved one, anything!

But there's hope... Oh yes there is.

The bible says that

“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your {Hearts...my interpretation} are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1 vs 18.

Wether you are going into courtship, enagagement,marriage or even been married for years. If you find yourself in this position. Agree with God and yourself to settle your heart...your past... this matter. It might mean confessing something, doing something or even refusing something. Whatever it is, it will need an action that only you can take.

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Man vs Woman

2011-02-15T18:38:00.003-05:00

Hey Ladies... sorry I have been MIA but its been one of those weeks at work; but don't worry, I will be back in full force by the weekend. Here's a pic I think tells a lot about how different men and women are. Enjoy this till we meet again....

...musings from atop the potter's wheel.

It shouldn't have to hurt....

2011-02-06T21:00:00.001-05:00

Labake, thank you for letting me tell our story...

For the 3rd time tonight my cell phone rang...actually it was an angry buzzing sound that my husband heard just as I did. He rolled over, disconnected the phone from its charger and after wiping the sleep from his eyes peered at it.

"Babe, its Labake again"

Before he could get the words out his mouth, I grabbed the phone from him and placed it to my ear.

"Labake...labake.." I called into the phone

In the midst of a tiny whimper and sniffling I heard her muffled voice

"Please...please... he's going to kill me this time"

I sat there in a daze, part of me desiring to go back to bed and tired of this charade Labake had drafted me reluctantly into; an endless cycle of midnight phone calls we'd been playing for the last 5 years. Even with this in mind, I knew I was going to play this game again tonight .

I didn't need to hear anymore so I hung up the phone. I knew exactly what had happened and so did hubby because by the time I had gotten off the phone, he had brushed his teeth, grabbed a pair of sweats and was slipping on his sneakers.

I quickly grabbed a sweatshirt, slapped a bandanna over my hair and joined hubby in the car. As we drove the 5 min drive to Labake's, I played out what I knew I would find. As usual the house would be in shambles and depending on her luck tonight, she could either be huddled under a table or if lucky behind a locked door.

As we pulled to the curb,I knew enough to make sure Remi, her husband, was out the house before I rushed in; last time I let my guard down and rushed into Labake's place, Remi was so drunk and incoherent, he charged blindly at me screaming something about breaking my neck; thankfully I was holding my car keys on which dangled my mace canister. I pointed the mace at him and didn't stop squeezing the trigger till I had emptied the whole canister into his eyes. It was one thing to beat on my cousin, another thing entirely to step to me. The night this happened,I had driven to her house alone but from then on hubby was adamant about following me whenever I made the trip down. He never came into the house though; he knew this was one situation Labake wouldn't want him to see her in.

Tonight, I found the front door ajar and I called out her name as I walked in; hearing sobbing coming from the kitchen, I headed in that direction. It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the darkness and as the black void began to form shapes and colors, the spatter of blood across the wall was the first thing I noticed. As my eyes took in the chaos of shattered glass, broken furniture and human blood, my eyes welled up. I couldn't see her but I followed the sounds of the sobs I heard and as it led me to through the house, I took the wreckage in.

By the time I saw her, huddled under the kitchen table, I was openly sobbing. As I helped her out, neither of us said a word. We had played out this scene many times before. Initially she had made excuses for him, telling me he hadn't meant to blacken her eyes...then it progressed to how it was her fault and if she just learnt how to be a good wife he wouldn't have broken her arm. Nowadays, she stopped even trying to explain and for the last few months, just like stage actors doing a nightly routine, we played out our parts in silence.

But tonight was different... By the time I followed her cries like clues in a detective show and found her, I gasped. Labake laid on the kitchen floor, a broken mess of blood, tears and pain and as I rushed to her side,I was gentle enough to asses what besides her spirit had been broken.

"Labake"...."Labake"... "Labake"... I moaned her name, cried her name and as an ugly mixture of pain, anger and fear rocked my soul, I yelled her name.

"I am ok" She mumbled through bloody lips.

There was no point wasting words; there was nothing I had to say that she hadn't heard before. We both wept as we crept to the bathroom, our tears mingled as I gently bathed the blood off her and by the time I finally tucked her into bed, I had cried myself dry. I wasn't afraid to leave her at her place, it usually took Remi about 1 month to come back after each episode. As I walked to the bedroom door, I turned around just as I had done many a time, to try one last time to make her leave with me but before I could muster the words, She looked me dead in the eyes.

"I swore my vows...till death do us part!"

I sighed. "You are dead...you just don't know it yet" and gently closed the bedroom door behind me.

Hubby was in the car waiting as I walked out of the house. It was just another night in Labake's life...just another night.

...musings from atop the potter's wheel.

Spice it up...The Bedroom

2011-02-03T21:42:00.002-05:00

Ok Ladies.. this is a continuation of the previous post; Spice it up...the Kitchen.

I remember a few months before I got married; the women of our church came together to give me some great gifts and some "words of advice" (using that word VERY loosely) about marriage.

I still laugh when I look back

"Hmmm, don't starve your husband ooh" ( and we're not talking food here)

"A good wife never wears underwear to bed ooh"

I didn't know what was more uncomfortable; the fact that we were having a conversation about sex or the fact that it was CHURCH MOTHERS talking about it.

Either way, I smiled and internally went to my " happy place" till the get together was over.

Looking back, there were some nuggets of truth in their words but this post is not about spicing things up sexually ( Y'all don't need advice about that...lol) but spicing things up physically.

We women know how to keep it hot and sizzling in the pre-marriage scene but let's face it, once we bag our men we tend to slack of a bit.

Personally my issues came when I had my son 8 months ago...I woke up tired and went to bed tired and with the whole issues of dealing with a newborn and my 1-2 hrs of sleep at night, I ummmh... dropped the ball!

Sweat pants replaced the jeans, sneakers replaced the heels....scrunchies became my new hair stylist! AAhhhhh, it wasn't pretty but my hubby never complained (that man is a saint!)

Thank goodness for reality checks... I dont really remember what snapped me out my rut but I woke up one day and BAM! It knocked me so hard I almost lost my teeth! LOL Having a baby is not an excuse to let things slide!!!!

The point is men are visual beings, while we are more emotional creatures. With that being said we women need to keep our men's attentions on us. Do that thing you use to do before you got married... Wear that outfit you know makes him smile... Wear that scent that automatically makes him think of you...

So thats where I am now... I REFUSE to end up like those naija women who have just one baby and then start wearing wrapper and boubou all around the house forever. Ugggh!

...musings from atop the potter's wheel.

The Devil...and his pretty presents!

2011-01-31T23:25:00.001-05:00

The devil had a present for me...and my was it beautiful!

Thank God I know not all that glitter is Gold.

Sorry...I am getting ahead of myself, let me start from the beginning...

So at work, there was a "situation" ( I refuse to even give this situation a name or gender cuz I don't want even a microsec of shout outs on my blog), this situation was working my very last nerve but I stepped back, relaxed and took a deep breath and started mumbling scripture to myself...

"...Christ learnt Obedience through the things he suffered..." ( Heb 5 vs 8)

That's when I noticed it! In the corner of my eye, I saw the devil holding out the prettiest gift I had seen in a while. It was huge, shiny with a blue bow!(Hey, how did he know blue was one of my favorite colors?!)Guys, it was beautiful! it has a card that read my name and I was tempted to take it.

I knew what was inside for I had taken the gift from his hands before. Many times have I been in this situation and many times have I taken this gift unwrapped it and savored what was inside; a chance to blow up and physically give this "situation" a piece of my mind. Even when By God's grace, common sense and the holy spirit prevented me from taking this "gift", I would still spend time after wards grumbling, angry about the fact that I must have looked weak and imagining how sweet it would have been to take the gift.

Before I was saved, I had a temper that was an ugly thing to behold. At the drop of a dime my anger could go from 0-60 and by the time I had calmed down, it was too late. Time after time, some kind of damage had been done! Even at the times I tried to control my temper, I would physically get sick; having stomach cramps that would have me doubled over and I would NOT get peace until I said or did what I wanted to do; and these things...9/10 were hurtful things!

Fast forward some years of maturity, growth built on the ruins of pain, tears, broken relationships and the grace of God, I have now learned how to deal with my temper. Praise God! but ever so often in situations where I am being pushed by people, Satan is never too far away...holding that beautiful gift. He beckons me, tempting me with a chance to be carnal for a sec and do what my flesh so desires...to neatly take off my "Salvation cape" fold it up and then give this "situation" a piece of my mind.

Are you surprised that the Devil's gifts are beautiful?

We Christians have this vision of Satan as constantly being ugly and take comfort in the thought that when we saw him, the sheer ugliness of his evil would put us on alert. Do you think he was ugly while whispering to Eve in the garden? After all,he was an angel of Light and God does not make ugly beings! Do we think when he took Christ to tempt him...asking him to worship him, he presented himself as this shriveled up ugly figure?

NO, in these years I have been saved...and tempted...Satan hardly offers me things that a piece of me deep down doesn't want. It is my job to “Get up and pray so that [I] will not fall into temptation ( Luke 22 vs 46) and be reassured in the fact that "No temptation has overtaken [me] except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let [me] be tempted beyond what [I] can bear. But when [I am] tempted, he will also provide a way out so that [I] can endure it."(1Corint. 10 vs 13)

The devil picks the "prettiest" gifts....If they weren't beautiful, how would they tempt me?

Do you think he knows what you like?

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”( Matt 26 vs 41)

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel

The "S" word...

2011-01-26T22:56:00.001-05:00

When I was an S4 (Self Sufficient Single Sista), one word that used to make my skin sizzle... that made my hair stand on edge...that made me gag....that made me...(Get the picture..hehe) was the word "Submission"

Me...a whole me... submitting to a man? Who is the man and who is his father? Did his mother give birth to him in mid air, or what made him special?

What is one of the biggest issues new wives of my generation face? Submission!
Leadership within the home is a big issue amongst the church today and I remember early on in our marriage, Hubby and I have had many sessions of “heated fellowships” *wink* over certain issues. At these moments, I am at a crossroad, where I could either argue/pout/fight to have my way (you’re looking at the undefeated secondary school debating champion…I could debate an ice cube into thinking fire was good for it) or I could humble myself and accept his leadership over me.

Leadership over ME?

Ephesians 5 vs 25 (NLT) You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior.

Submission…sure I had heard of this but…but…surely God doesn’t mean submitting in everything, even over the clothes I wear? To my husband? But isn’t he just a mortal like me?

For many, submission to their husband is a big pill to swallow, not only for the fact that it is not natural for the flesh to deny itself of desires but also because it is one of the most misconstrued concepts preached at the pulpit. Women hear submission and all they imagine is their husbands saying “Jump” and they blindly saying “How high sir”. We are afraid to be rendered voiceless, virtually powerless over issues in our own lives. We wonder if we are even allowed to think and have opinions of our own because doing so would be “unsubmissive”.

It's no secret...we've been hurt while on our knees

Submission is also additionally difficult for women coming from abusive pasts. They have had fathers/brothers/boyfriends who have taken advantage of them and subsequently, they view submission as a new excuse for their bodies to be bruised; their emotions toyed with, their hearts broken.

After digging deep in the word and much counseling from other wives deep in the word, my understanding changed and I realised submission was placed in marriage to remind husbands they had so much to accomplish for the Lord through their wives and children.

Confused? Let me break it down…

Ladies, do we really understand the responsibility of being a husband?

Ephesians 5: 25-29 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

This is but a brief job description of a husband and as we can see leadership isn’t exactly a bed of roses right? Scripture tells us that Christ, the head or husband of the church, his bride and is in heaven advocating for us. Christ took on the responsibility as a leader and look what it took; him taking on flesh, being ridiculed, hungry, hated, abused and finally killed…all for the sake of his bride. The only way, a husband can fulfill these tasks is if he has a partner who not only accepts his calling but who is also there to help him achieve it.

This scripture revealed to me that if I could not submit to my husband, there was no way I could fully submit to God and the figurative “scales fell from my eyes”. So here I am… everyday, striving to be more submissive and letting hubby step forward to the calling of responsibility God has placed on him. At times, it’s hard to uncurl my fingers from the control wheel but I learn daily. Let me be the first to tell you that I am far from being perfect or snapping my fingers at the fact that “I have arrived”. I take each day as they come looking to God for strength, my husband for his love and everyday, it becomes a tad bit easier.

...muings from atop the potters wheel

Yummy Mondays...

2011-01-24T20:34:00.003-05:00

Most people buy breakfast bars; in an attempt to take more control of what I ate, I decided to make my own bars! Here we go... this is my walnut, cranberry and raisin oatmeal bar made from scratch!
They were moist and veeeery yummy! This will definitely be another frequent flier in our home

....musings from atop the potter's wheel

You love me... you really ..really love me!

2011-01-20T20:07:00.010-05:00

So I was awarded the `Stylish and Versatile blogger` Award by my blog friend YNC aka YankeeNaijaBabe (and a babe she is...lol) Chi babe, thanks soo much for the love!

So here's the rule : 1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post. 2. Tell us 7 things about yourself. 3. Award 15 other bloggers. 4. Contact these bloggers and let them know that they have won.

So here it goes...7 things about me...

1-I am an avid traveler!

I have gone to school in different countries all over the world! From 2001-2009, I have traveled internationally EVERY YEAR. I still traveled even after I got pregnant till hubby told me to sit my pregnant butt down in one place for a change!Lol

2-If I wasn`t a doctor, I might have become a airline steward

Don`t know why but the idea of jet setting from one country to another and living out of a suitcase excites me!

3-I want to have about 1000 children!

I love being a mother. The so -called stress, sleepless nights, running around etc all seem fun to me! It was when I became a mother that I truly understood the power of being a woman and now firmly believe "...the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world". If I had to choose between medicine and motherhood, trust me, medicine does not stand a chance. Now all I have to do is convince hubby he wants 1000 children as well...lol

4-I am fiercely protective of my son

9.99 times out of 10 if you ask to carry my son, I will find a way to say NO. I watch over him like a hawk!

5-I am quite tall.

Almost 6ft without shoes but I love to rock my 3-4 inch heels... so you do the math!

6-If its by a Nigerian Author, I will read it!

I love Nigerian novels because they help me feel closer to home. Be it pacesetters series or a newer generation of writers, as long as it rocks and gives me a taste of home, I will read.

7- This blog started out as my journal 4 yrs ago.

No one really knew about it for a while till Hubby encouraged me to make it public. I truly hope it touches lives and draw readers to the cross.

So there you go... 7 things about me.

I am sending this award to
1-Jaycee
2-Lil Miss Thang
3-Ms.Yellow Sisi Unspoken
4-Zoe Believer

Forgive me, I am a newbie to blogdom so I dont have too many blogs to nominate. Hopefully this will change soon!

...Musings from atop the potters wheel.

Death will soon die!

2011-01-18T18:30:00.006-05:00

"...He died over night"

Those were the words my colleague told me as I leisurely took off my coat this morning. "Your patient died overnight..."

As I tried to comprehend the jumble that was coming out of my friend's mouth; flashes of this patient went through my mind. I had admitted him just 2 days ago and after reassuring his family that their husband/father/father-in-law was going to be fine...He was now DEAD!

I was hurting when I heard the news this morning and still hurting as I write this...but Christ has promised me that when "...when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die,this Scripture will be fulfilled:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? (1 Corinth 15 vs 55 NLT)

O Lord, how we wait for that day!

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

Can I have your attention....

2011-01-13T20:11:00.003-05:00

HI...
2 days ago, I mistakenly posted a rough draft of my post "Leaving your baggage behind..." I immediately took it down but it had showed up on most of your RSS feeders. I am sorry. This post is just to tell you.... Look below, the post is now there. Thanks for reading...

Sorry about the pic...Hey, I had to do something to update your feeds LOL

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

Leaving your baggage behind....

2011-01-10T21:02:00.018-05:00

Baggage:intangible things (as feelings, circumstances, or beliefs) that get in the way (Webster Dictionary)

Originally uploaded by » madelyn

A few nights ago, I was on a social network site. I was viewing a friend's page and from that particular page, I linked to another friend and then another...on and on... and then that's when it happened! I landed on a page that brought back a lot of memories.

Memories...

When I got married; I sought the counsel of those around me. I knew it was God's will but I wanted the advice of others. A lot of people I told agreed in faith that hubby was the one but a particular person told me to break things off. Even after I took a step in faith with Hubby and began a relationship, this friend continually told me that Hubby wasn't the one.

Long story short, 2011 will mark my 2nd wedding anniversary with Hubby... and 1 yr without this friend in my life. This person, for reasons I still don't know decided our friendship was best dissolved; calls weren't returned, hangouts were missed, a chapter closed.

It wasn't intentional of me to end up thinking of this person but as I re- hashed events in my head, I wondered for the 100000th time if there was anything I could have done to change things...

What if I had asked... or what if I had gone... or what If I said

Hmm... This baggage was getting in my way.

Once again I was unearthing issues from past years; things God had placed to rest, things that shouldn't bother me...but ummh...well, still did!

For me, its a lost friendship but to others it is a broken relationship, the loss of family or the pain of a broken heart. Regardless of what its wrapped up in,it all leads to feelings of wonder, pain and especially in situations where we feel ourselves innocent of blame; a sincere cry of "Why!?"

Why...

Till this day, I don't know the answer to my own "Whys" but one thing I do know is that God has me inscribed in the palm of his hands and in situations where I can't see the forest for the trees, I can rely on the fact that he makes everything work out for my good. These thoughts give me the strength to "...focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead" (Phil 3 vs 13 NLT). Yes, I lost a friend but in return I have gained a husband, a son and a wonderful marriage that some people only dream about. In sorrow there has been a wealth of joy!

When we carry around bitterness and memories of the past, we lug around a weight that keeps up from moving faster and further into our future. These regrets shackle us to the past and have the luxury of rearing its ugly head at the most ill opportune time.

So what are you holding on too? What issues are getting in your way? Is it a broken heart, with pain so deep its hard to get out of bed? Is it anger; unforgivness so heavy it weighs down your spirit? Is it the loss of a loved one; sorrow so thick you can taste it? I am sorry you hurt but I have to tell you...

...This baggage is getting in your way

God has a plan for you and he is ready to place it in your hands. All he asks from you is to open your hands that are so tightly clenched to your past. Open your hands; to release your pain and receive your blessings. We can do this! You and I; let us"...strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.Heb 12 vs 1 (NLT) We can do this!

Just let it go!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel.

Follow the Leader...

2011-01-10T15:24:00.001-05:00

BabyLuv, my son, follows me EVERYWHERE!. While I am doing chores around the house, bustling from room to room, it's funny seeing him crawling behind me and trying to catch up with me. There are some instances where I am just too fast and if I round the corner without him, he bursts into tears. Ahh my baby!

Proverbs 22 vs 6 :Direct your children onto the right path,and when they are older, they will not leave it.

As parents, it is our job not only to point our children to heaven but to also lead the way. Too often we have a "Do as I say not as I do" and whether we know or not, it chips away not only at the faith of those around us but those of our children.

As women we can get so carried away to the point of almost being flippant when thinking of having a baby.

I wanna handsome boy who looks just like his daddy, he'll be all gucci'ed out and go to the best schools and then I will have a girl ; God pls let her have "good hair" and I will dress her up with bows and ribbons. I am going to be the hawtest mummy on the block...ooh I hope I keep my figure...

If we knew 1/10th of the spiritual responsibility having a child is, a lot of us would run from it. Parenthood doesn't end with just physically providing but it demands a spiritual nurturing that requires us to teach...

Duet 6 vs 7:Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.

MOTHERS
You can start by praying for yourself and your husband; that God will will give you the spiritual capabilities to lead your children in the way of the Lord. That you will be Godly examples to their innocent eyes. Then pray for your children, pray everyday that they will come to love the Lord, that every attack upon their lives (and trust me y'all, the devil is going to try) will come to naught. Then take actual steps of leadership, be sensitive to watch you watch/listen to on TV and radio, make up a family prayer time where you all come together to pray as one. Trust me children see EVERYTHING and God has placed in their heart a desire to emulate you so use this to your advantage!

MOTHERS 2 BE...
You have a role too. It is never too late to start praying for your future children. Pray and start confessing who they will become. Start speaking life into them and prophesy upon their lives.

SINGLE LADIES...
(Did you think you would get off so easy...heheh)

Start grooming yourselves to become moms i.e do you know how to change diapers, Make a bottle?. Have you decided how you want to school your children (public vs private vs Home school)? Also be sensitive to the Man you intend to marry. Ask yourself if he has the potential to be a good father in the future. (If he tells you right of the bat that he hates children...umh, it might be a red flag!)

Whether we believe it or not, we will give account for the time we had in our children's life. Even though it is ultimately our children's decision whether they eventually invite Christ into their lives; what will we do with the time God has given us to influence them?

Let's make it count....

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

Snow day treat..

2011-01-07T19:04:00.005-05:00

Hubby had a "snow day" today and worked from home. So I decided to warm him up with a plate of fresh crab wontons made from scratch! Call it my Asian Experiment. Hubby loved it and it will definitely be a regular in our home.

How do they look?

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel.

Spice it up!.........The Kitchen

2011-01-06T16:34:00.000-05:00

"I am bored with this..."
These were the words Hubby casually said one evening while I was cooking my butt off in the kitchen and it changed my world! Hubby is not a picky eater and since we've been together he has NEVER complained about my food nor desired any other person's meal above mine so his statement really caught my attention.

Huh?

Bored ke?

Being the daughter of my mother, I had grown up learning the exotic arts of Naija (Nigerian) dishes. From the tender age of 11,I was up in there, house girl or no house girl learning how to measure with my eyes, taste with my fingers and cook with my heart. Now after perfecting it all I thought I was set to rock my future hubby's world in the kitchen.

Let's see, I made eba, rice, iyan, beans, rice, dodo then some iyan, some beans and a little eba and then....

Oops...

Gen 1 vs 29-30(NLT): Then God said, "Look! I have given you every seed-bearing plant throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for your food. And I have given every green plant as food for all the wild animals, the birds in the sky, and the small animals that scurry along the ground—everything that has life.”

So, if God has given us every plant, fruit and animal, how come we Nigerians restrict ourselves to eba, iyan, rice etc. It seems our parents generation were satisfied with this but the more time we spend out of Nigeria and the more our horizons broaden, we develop taste for other things.

Hubby's words motivated me to break the mold and venture out and Boy did I venture out! With the help of the internet, I started experimenting and now I cook everything from Chinese to Italian to American. I am also currently learning some middle Eastern dishes while improving my Naija game by learning dishes from other tribes.

Bottom line, we ladies need to up the ante and improve our games. The world is our oyster!

To Follow: Spice it up...The bedroom! Stay Tuned.

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel

Balancing act...

2011-01-03T21:02:00.008-05:00

Ahhh Ladies!
Happy New Year!!
Greetings from a very exhausted mom! Wife! Daughter!..blah

So Hubby and I decided to send our son to grandma's for the weekend and I was SOOO for it. It is hard having a son so young and I take ALL the help I can get. Well 1 hr before it was time to drive the 15 mins to my parent's house, I started missing my son BAD and immediately regretted my decision. Of course I told hubby and after laughing at me he re-assured me that it was only for a day and half and our baby was only 15 mins away. After all, it wasn't everyday we got to have some time alone...

Ladies I fought but reluctantly dropped my baby off. Hubby and I got a chance to go out to eat, mingle with another couple and I had Fun! Now that our baby is back home now, I wish I could send his butt off to grandma again. Haha...

Eccle 3 vs 1 ( NLT) There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven.

A lesson I have had to learn since I had my baby is the act of BALANCING. I have to balance being a Doctor, a wife and a mom and it is not easy! Just as baby needs me I have to keep reminding myself that Hubby needs me as well. Our son is so constantly on my mind ( as well as he should be) that I forget that hubby needs my attention as well. We need to continually have time alone to re-connect and keep creating the loving environment our son desperately needs to grow.

Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Dating my husband...

2010-12-30T14:48:00.002-05:00

Originally uploaded by Edward Barnieh

It's been 18 months since I said "I do" and wow! what a whirlwind it's been. In those months we've relocated, had a baby and settled down into FOREVER. I now realize that it is SOO easy to fall into a rut when it comes to my relationship with hubby; after all we are so busy with our careers, being parents and just the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

So what's my solution?

DATING MY HUSBAND!

Yes ladies, From time to time, I "date" my husband...let me explain.

I remembered when I was dating/courting/moving purposefully towards marriage or whatever you want to call it., there was a certain way I acted.

Ladies, you know...

We take extra care in our appearances, we are a bit more shy, subdued in our actions, we smiled and spoke more with our eyes. We are satisfied with the simple act of holding his hand. We love spending hours on the phone/texting and miss him when he is not around. When he finally earns the right to come over to our place, we cook the most extravagant meals for him.

I think if we went back into our "dating" frame of mind; doing the same things we did to "catch" our partners, not only would it spice things up but it would also refresh any relationship be it 18 months or 18 yrs.

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

Not married to Jesus...

2010-12-24T00:45:00.003-05:00

And the moral of the story was I wasn’t married to Jesus…

Forgive me; I am getting ahead of myself. Usually a story is told before a moral is delivered.

Hubby and I got into an argument a while back. Being the “mature Christian” (rolling eyes) that I am, I sulked in a corner for a couple of days. Well that was a while ago and now that all is well in Love land; I had a chance to put on a pair of 20-20 hindsight glasses.

Hubby is a wonderful, patient, mature and loving husband, so good that 99% of the time I wonder if I truly deserve him but the 1% he slips up, I am so shocked and hurt, I take it harder than I should. I guess I am just not used to him making mistakes. While we were talking over the problem, hubby says “Baby, I am still 3 in 1…mind spirit and body. The times you love me is when by grace I can subdue my flesh but I am not perfect, sometimes I do and will slip up”.

I had put hubby on a pedestal, a pedestal so HIGH, he was barely holding on by his fingertips. Well, the thing about pedestals is that there isn’t much maneuvering room and any move in the wrong direction was trouble.

Talk about a bag of bricks! I realized I had unrealistic expectations. I wanted hubby to be perfect, a flawless lover who was always on point fulfilling EVERY SINGLE NEED IN ME…hmmm sounds like I wanted him to be Jesus.

...musings from atop the potter's wheel.

Standing on your knees...

2010-12-21T17:05:00.004-05:00

I remember when I was an S4 (Self sufficient single sista) my pastor’s wife asked me what I would do if my future husband cheated on me. Before she could even finish her statement, I blurted out “I would leave!” Truth be told, I answered a bit smugly because I knew according to Matt 5 vs 32, I had every right to leave my husband if he cheated; so with a smile on my face I waited for her next response.

Ladies what she said next floored me... She said “Sister, what about your knees…Why can’t you get on your knees”

Knees? What's my knees have to do with this?

John 10 vs 10: The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.

When we become saved, we inherit the idea that our salvation is something we are going to have to keep fighting for; and rightly so. We fight temptation to remain saved, we fight with our flesh to remain pure, we fight all the tactics the enemy throws…we fight, we fight WE FIGHT!! But not all of us are aware that that our marriages are equal reason to put on our boxing gloves or pick up a samurai sword (whatever floats your boat sisters)but fight none the less.

Now let me add this...although fighting begins on our knees, it might end with buying a nice dress or a pair of black pumps or even paying a visit to "Aunty Victoria" *Wink*. After praying God might show you that your weapon of choice is a cooking spoon, a quiet evening without cell phones or a pair of tickets.

Regardless of what it is,ladies...NEVER STOP FIGHTING!

Letting our men be men...

2010-12-18T19:36:00.002-05:00

Originally uploaded by Xurble

I remember when Hubby and I were courting/dating/walking purposely towards marriage or whatever we call it nowadays I was so fixed in my ways. There is a certain beauty of being a self sufficient single sista (S4); not depending on men for anything. I knew how to take care of myself and not relying on a guy for anything allowed me to keep my heart focused in the right direction without getting emotionally attached prematurely. Well turns out that I was too good at being an S4 because when Hubby came around, I found it difficult to relinquish power from anything as trivial as driving the car to something as absurd as helping me with a hard to open jar.

I am sure you have seen/ heard such stories

Man: Excuse me Miss, let me help you open that door
Woman: (Activating full neck swing and eye roll) Me? Help me? brother, step aside and let ME help YOU!

The problem is the less I act like a woman, the harder it is for hubby to act like a man. The intention of a good godly man is to serve his bride. Remember all the fairy tales we read as a child; how the prince in shiny armor gallantly rides up on his noble steed to rescue the princess... or how about how the hero fights against the enemy to protect his princess...or how about the greatest love story of all; a savior dying so that his bride might live? All these tales tells us that there is an inherent albeit lost...sniff instinct placed in men by God to serve his bride and the more we take it upon on ourselves as wives to fulfill these roles, the less husbands will want or even have a reason to fulfill them.

The world has successfully ly lied to us about how weak it makes us females look to have men serve us. We want to be as strong and powerful as men consequently leaving behind the role God created for us as women. When was the last time we heard of men striving for our positions?

Having been a S4 for a while,I KNOW there will be instances where we are perfectly capable of opening that door/ carrying that box/ pumping that gas/ driving that distance but another gracious way to encourage our men to be godly home leaders (and lets face it; just making them feel like macho men...shh don't tell)is stepping back and allowing them to fulfill those roles.

So the next time I would rather use a sledgehammer to open a jar than ask for help, I 'll just lovingly look over and yell....HONEY!!!??????

…musings from atop the potter’s wheel

The Game of Love: Win or Lose!

2010-12-13T22:22:00.001-05:00

Originally uploaded by benegizer

An afternoon of video games is definitely a pleasure; especially when it is a game that involves races and adventures. Hubby and I have the love for videos games in common but that common interest ends with the fact that his favorite video games are football (soccer to America) games. Uggh, I don’t know how hubby can get so excited, so animated, so revitalized from a football game that actually doesn’t exist! But he does….and because he does; I do as well, well sort of.

We have heard about being a helpmeet to our husbands; a constant companion always praying, fighting for, respecting and loving our men fiercely with all we have within us but one aspect that the church sometimes ignores is the need to be our husband’s best friend.

Proverbs 14 vs 1 says “A wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands.”

Already in my very young marriage I have learnt that a wife determines the tone of the home. As much as my husband needs me to be a nurturer, helpmeet, supporter, prayer partner and confidante, that’s not ALL my job description reads. I am also called to be a friend! A good ol’ fashion “buddy”, “pal”, “homegirl” or anything you’ll like to call it. People who know my husband and I well are used to seeing us tease each other, chasing ourselves through the house and even playing pranks on each other.

I remember my mom telling me how important it was to be my husband’s best friend and how she has lived this... My dad loves cars! When he was younger, he would look for reasons to tinker with his car and I remember many weekends he would be in the drive way oiled stained and under his car trying to fix one thing or another. My mother told me that while they were dating, my mom would spend hours with my dad just talking with him while he “fixed” his car… handing him a spanner here and holding a bolt there. Was my mom interested in all that stuff? Absolutely Not!! but she knew the importance of being a friend as well as a lover.

Proverbs 18 vs 24: There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

Being a friend is not all about video games and good times; it is also about being there when things are tough and painful. Most men, depending on the situation might run to another male in search for advice; I do realize that at times this is necessary for no one can teach a man how to be godly except another godly man; but at times men would rather talk to someone else because they cannot confide in their wives. Not to say that their wives are uncaring but being the emotional creatures we are, some men are afraid of the consequences.

So let me ask you: are you your husband’s best friend; a non judgmental patient listening ear? There may be times when your husband will need you to listen to his problems not as a hot tempered or emotional ear but as someone who can hold back a little and objectively tackle an issue with him. Of course we cannot do this by any strength of our own. We need to constantly seek power from its source in order to be strong enough to be non condemning especially when you feel you have every right to be.

James 5 vs 16: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

For example, I know of couples who have made vows to each other if one ever gets sexually tempted or even mildly attracted to anyone of the opposite sex. For this to work, obviously a wife must be able to isolate certain parts of her emotion in order to serve her husband for the betterment of the family. This way rather than a third person be privy into their personal lives, a couple can arm up and go to battle together.

So here I am, playing a video game I thought I wasn’t interested in but as I watch hubby smile… that infectious sweet smile…I know and pray deep in my heart for many many more.

…musings from atop the potter’s wheel

Coming home...

2009-08-27T19:32:00.001-04:00

Wow, it’s been over a year since I’ve been here last…eish! I have truly let things slide…. I apologize. Things have been quite hectic but this prodigal daughter wants to come back home to blogville. So can I come in? Thanks!!!

So to update you guys, since my hiatus I have graduated medical school and gotten married and am now a mommy.!!! YUP, All within a year of being away and I can I tell you I've learned so much. My coming back to blogsville is for a reason…. Yes I did miss blogging, but the reason is a bit bigger than that.
When I got married, I rushed on to blogsville hoping to find another blogger that was in the same condition….You know, Born again, Nigerian, young and newlywed. I was hoping to find someone who had gone through, or was going through what I was so I could relate and learn from her life…..unfortunately, just as there aren’t that many around me physically, there aren’t that many who fit that bill in blogsville (or least that I have been able to find). Soooooooo… I have decided to make the first step and blog about what I am learning so far in this new chapter of my life; hopefully it will bless someone.
Stay tuned folks....

Luke 15 vs 20: So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long distance away, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.

…musings from atop the potter’s wheel

Angel of the Lord....

2008-03-13T19:28:00.000-04:00

Angel Of the Lord by Hillsong

The Lord’s my Shepherd, I have everything I need.
Mercy and love follow me.
Though I walk through the dark valley of death, I will
Not be afraid for He’s here.

The Lord’s my refuge, no evil can come near me,
Dwelling in His secret place.
I put my trust in Him, He is my shield, I will
Let His peace rule in my heart.

(Chorus)
Surely, the Angel of the Lord is around me.
I have no cause to fear, my God will not forsake me.
I am His child, no enemy can touch me.
I will not die but live, to tell what He has done.

He has ransomed me, He gave me all authority,
Power, love and a sound mind.
Strong in the Lord and the power of His might, I will
Put on His armour and stand.

(Chorus)
Surely, the Angel of the Lord is around me.
I have no cause to fear, my God will not forsake me.
I am my Father's child, no enemy can touch me.
I will not die but live, to tell what He has done.

(Amen)

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

...and the truth shall set me free

2008-03-08T09:12:00.000-05:00

I am of worth...
No matter what the lies my generation is made to believe.
I am of value...
Not because of my accomplishments, my beauty or education
I am fulfilled
Completely in Jesus Christ.

All I want, all I desire, who I was made to be is found at the foot of the cross.

The Lord, maker of the universe, eni to te sanma bi eni saw it fit to make me. He is not a maker of worthless things, he desired me that’s why he made me. “The LORD hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name” (Isaiah 49 v 1). You were the one who called my name and “…knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139 v 13). It was of your doing, you weren’t bored or looking for a pet project. You desired me into existence.

No matter my surroundings or how the world makes me feel, help me to remember “…for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works…” (Psalm 139 v 14) nothing can change that or take that away. I am precious to you father; so precious that you have me “…carved in the palms of your hands and my walls are continually before thee” (Isaiah 49 v 13). This world will fade away and everything it holds. No matter how unstable life is, you are “…my rock and my salvation; my defense; I shall not be greatly moved” (psalm 62 v2).

Now, I seek you Lord and the intentions you have for my life. Let my will be overshadowed by yours. Teach me, minister to me and make me sensitive to the beckoning of the Holy Spirit. Be the “…lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (psalm 119 v105). Show me what you desire of me and let me not be lost from you. Help me love the Lord [my] God with all [my] heart, and with all [my] soul, and with all [my] mind (Matthew 22 v37).

“Now unto him that is able to keep [me] from falling, and to present [me] faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy…” (Jude 1 v 24) I commit my life.

...musings from atop the potters wheel.

Building Jesus in me...

2008-02-12T01:10:00.000-05:00

This song was a gift from someone dear to me and it represents my heart cry; what i truly desire of my life. It is entitled "Building Jesus in me" and it is by Colin Stoodley

I am the vessel you have chosen
Though there’s weakness deep within.
You have made me more than conqueror
I’m forgiven of my sins.

Chorus
Holy spirit, Holy spirit
Keep on building Jesus in me
Holy spirit, Holy spirit
Keep on building Jesus in me

Lord my mind needs Your renewing
Keeping out all doubt and fear
Overcoming all my weakness
By Your Spirit I'm brought near

Change the way I think and feel Lord
Mould the attitudes in me
I would mirror all Your living
A reflection all may see

May it be so oh lord....

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

God is in my orange...

2008-01-27T11:59:00.000-05:00

Yes I said it...God is in my orange!!!
I bought two oranges for a $1 at the local grocer’s and dumped it in my book bag. I was supposed to eat it for lunch but never got a chance so I carried it home and back to the hospital the next day. Well again, I didn’t get a chance to eat it, but on my way home, I remembered them and peeled one. As I popped the first piece in my mouth, I shouted (in my head...of course) BLESS THE NAME OF THE LORD. HOW CAN THE WORLD SAY THERE IS NO GOD, AND THAT BY CHANCE THE WORLD WAS CREATED? GOD IS EVIDENT BY THIS ORANGE. The reason was that this orange was one of the juiciest, sweetest and yummiest orange I have ever tasted.
One of my weaknesses is that I can’t contain my emotions; you can see anger, sadness and happiness on my face. I try to work on this, but this was one moment when I was not ashamed to be that evident. God’s power was testified in my orange and it told of his beauty and majesty. The world wanted me to believe that we are here by evolution and things just spontaneously appeared without a plan but this orange told me different. It told me that God had a reason and a plan and this world was created by love. How can this orange be so sweet without God’s love?

For God so loved the world, that he gave…the seed-bearing plants throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for your food. (John 3:16, Gen1:29)

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

The Jonah in me...

2008-01-20T19:33:00.001-05:00

One night after wondering what to read, I decided to read the book of Jonah. I don’t know why I felt pulled to it, but I decided to heed the desire and do it. I love the bible because it tells of the character of God. Here is what I learnt from the book of Jonah; I learnt of myself... the Jonah in me

Jon 1:3
But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the LORD, and went down to Joppa; and he found a ship going to Tarshish: so he paid the fare thereof, and went down into it, to go with them unto Tarshish from the presence of the LORD.

I think of how many times knowing what was desired of me, purposely gone the opposite way. I look at Jonah’s story and say, “if God ever called me to do something, I would run to it immediately. But do I need to physically hear God’s voice to have this passion?. Knowing the word of God is hearing the word of God and we should be quick to do everything the bible states.

Jon 1:8
Then said they unto him, Tell us, we pray thee, for whose cause this evil [is] upon us; What [is] thine occupation? and whence comest thou? what [is] thy country? and of what people [art] thou?

Jon 1:9
And he said unto them, I [am] an Hebrew; and I fear the LORD, the God of heaven, which hath made the sea and the dry [land].

Jonah knowing fully well that he was disobeying the word of God was still bold enough to say that he was a worshipper of the living God. It reminds me of how at times I act “holier than thou” while still struggling with my own sin. Every time I see a unsaved person sin and I shake my head in contempt; while forgetting the mercy I was so freely granted, and the sins I am still struggling with; at these times, I act like Jonah… saying one thing while living another. God please give me the spirit of humility and compassion to my fellow man.

Jon 1:12
And he said unto them, Take me up, and cast me forth into the sea; so shall the sea be calm unto you: for I know that for my sake this great tempest [is] upon you.

How many times are we in the wilderness and actually admit or acknowledge that the wilderness was caused by us. We are so quick to lament and ask God “Why are you doing this to me” but if we sit still in quietness, we might see that some wildernesses are of our own creation.

Jon 1:16
Then the men feared the LORD exceedingly, and offered a sacrifice unto the LORD, and made vows.

From the time we admit the Lord Jesus as our savior, we have people watching us. At the scariest time of Jonah’s life, he had people watching him and it was the way he conducted himself in this “wilderness” that made the other men, “fear the lord, offer sacrifices and make vows”. It should be our goal to always remember that we represent God in every moment of time; both highs and lows.

Jon 3:2
Arise, go unto Nineveh, that great city, and preach unto it the preaching that I bid thee.

Like the bible says, there is absolutely nothing that can separate us from the love of God It was a thing of great beauty to see that God is a God of second chances. Here in the third chapter after the whole issue with Jonah running, the boat and the whale, God still gave Jonah another chance to do what he originally requested him to do. This to me was an act of forgiveness and of love. Obeying God this time forever marks Jonah’s name in the book of the bible; and because he now chose to obey, he is recorded forever in the book of life. God didn’t need him to go; God could have raised another man to take Jonah’s place but it pleased God to “go” after Jonah to call him back into God’s presence because he is a loving God. Even when Jonah was in the belly of the whale, God was with him, listening to his prayers.

I wonder if I will ever be able to fully comprehend how much my God loves me...

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

Look not unto man…

2007-11-29T12:41:00.001-05:00

Look not unto man…

Psalm 121 vs 1
I will lift up my eyes to the hills-- From whence comes my help?

The beauty of hindsight is that it lets you look back and learn from things you previously overlooked. It has been a while since I made the best decision of my life- to give my life to Jesus; and lately I find myself looking back at my redemption story….looking and finding things I failed to see while I was going through it.

All those who are close to me and know of my salvation knows that it was a time of intense pain. It was a period in time that I thought I would never get through…The emotional pain I was going through was what laid me down sleep at night, and the first thing that woke me up in the morning. In my head I was saying “yes Lord, do as you please” but physically I was saying “what can I do to get out of this…” I really didn’t care what God was teaching or trying to tell me, all I knew was that unless it was pleasant, the message wasn’t for me.
So in my pride and stubbornness, I started looking for shortcuts through my trial. I went from pastor, to reverend, to father, to priest… anyone who could say the right thing, pray the right prayer or show me the scripture that would stop the pain. Unfortunately (but now I see fortunately), no one had any answers or quick healing schemes for me.

It took me almost 2 years to realize why my shortcuts weren’t working; it wasn’t working because I was looking unto man…

I was the silly daughter of Israel who Prophet Isaiah was describing when he said
Isa 31:1
¶ Woe to them that go down to Egypt for help; and stay on horses, and trust in chariots, because they are many; and in horsemen, because they are very strong; but they look not unto the Holy One of Israel, neither seek the LORD!
I had gone down to Egypt to escape my pain without given thought to my creator or the reasons why I was in this trial….God wanted me to lift my eyes unto him because he was where it all began. He was the one who had come down from his throne of grace to save me and he wanted me to know that he was enough.

Psalm 73:25 Who have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee

God brought me to the very end of myself, and it was here, where I ended, that he began! Freedom, salvation and love!

…musings from atop the potter’s wheel

Prune

2007-08-28T09:21:00.001-04:00

"I am the true vine, and my father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch that doesn't produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more."...John 15 vs 1-2

Prune ( noun)
2: to cut off or cut back parts of for better shape or more fruitful growth
intransitive verb
: to cut away what is unwanted or superfluous

Superflous (adjective)
: exceeding what is sufficient or necessary : extra b: not needed : unnecessary.

IF YOUR GOD...

2007-08-22T11:26:00.002-04:00

So if your God is so great, how come people who dont believe in him are so happy and so well off

These were the words my roomate asked me one night while we were studying for exams. She didn't mean it in a degrading, blasphemous or even rude way; She was a sweet girl and I know she was asking out of genuine curiosity. She was hindu and hadn't had much exposure to Christianity. In actuality, she hadn't heard of Adam, Eve and the whole Garden deal before meeting me.
At that second, I stared at her for a while. If she had asked me that question yesterday, an hour ago or even 5 minutes ago, I would have continued to stare blankly at her. Why? because this was a question I myself had pondered before. At school I saw atheists mock the name of God,whoever believed in him and then turn around and get straight A's on their exams. I had seen people who were not of God prosper within the land.

Wait! this sounds familiar...

I wasn't the only one to have ever felt this way. King David put this emotion into words when he said

"For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness. They seem to live such a painless life; their bodies are so healthy and strong.They aren't troubled like other people or plagued with problems like everyone else. They wear pride like a jeweled necklace, and their clothing is woven of cruelty.These fat cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for! They scoff and speak only evil; in their pride they seek to crush others. They boast against the very heavens, and their words strut throughout the earth. And so the people are dismayed and confused, drinking in all their words.

Does God realize what is going on? they ask. Is the Most High even aware of what is happening?

Look at these arrogant people- enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply. Was it for nothing that I kept my heart pure and kept myself from doing wrong? All I get is trouble all day long; every morning brings me pain." (Psalm 73 vs 13- 14 NLT)

David, a man of God, ordained and anointed to be King by Prophet Samuel was living in caves underground while Saul was using every way known to try and kill him. Where was justice, where was God in this? one would ask.

But Praise God,David caught himself and thought of the goodness of God. Maybe he looked back at where he was before God chose him; a shepherd and the least among of his brethren. Maybe he remembered who stood next to him when he stood against Goliath. Maybe he thought of how he was destined to be King. Whatever he thought of was enough to encourage him and move on to say

"If I had really spoken this way, I would have been a traitor to your people. Then one day I went into your sanctuary, O God, and I thought about the destiny of the wicked. Their present life is only a dream that is gone when they awake.Then I realized how bitter I had become, how pained I had been by all I had seen...I was so foolish and ignorant- I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you are holding my right hand... But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.(Psalm 73 vs 15- 28 NLT)

Just as David, encouraged himself in God, the Lord placed encouragement and the right words in my mouth. God placed an example in my heart and I said to my roommate

"If unknown to you, you were suppose to inherit a million dollars but I steal it from from you. Then instead of giving you the sum, I place $10,000 in your hands. You are going to be happy because you think it is a large sum of money but what you don't know is that you are entitled to something far much greater". The good things the world thinks it has right now and all it can accomplish "without Jesus" ( all good things come from the Lord) is nothing compared to what the devil is stealing from them. Can temporary satisfaction compare to eternal life?

That answer not only ministered to her, it ministered to my soul. I had held so much bitterness in my heart but by speaking with my roomie, God encouraged me. I knew who I was, a child of God who was going to see eternal life and reign forever with my King. Nothing this life could give me was worth a day in heaven.

"Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You"
Psalm 73 vs 25

....musings from atop the potters wheel

Search Me, Know me

2007-08-20T12:17:00.001-04:00

There is this band, Jonah33 of which I have never heard of. Even with this fact, i was surprised to find out that I have had one of their songs on repeat almost everyday for nearly one month. It is their song "Search me, Know me" from their album "The strangest day" and it is the cry of my heart. I usually find myself playing this song during my quiet time and it just brings me before the throne of God. The lyrics are

Search me, know me
Try me and see
Every worthless affection hidden in me
All I'm asking for is that You'd cleanse me, Lord

Create in me a heart that's clean
Conquer the power of secret shame
Come wash away the guilty stain of all my sin

Clothe me in robes of righteousness
Cover my nakedness with grace
All of my life before You now I humbly bring

I love this song and I hope it touches your heart as it has touched mine. I pray that it be the heart cry of our generation; that we may live for Jesus in all we do. Amen

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART…

2007-08-15T15:42:00.001-04:00

I wrote this about 15 months ago...

We all know the game Tetris… in some countries it is known as blocks but generally it is more familiar with the name Tetris…. Tonight while trying to escape the world of Pus and cancers (don’t bother trying to understand…med school ...go figure!) I decided to play a game of Tetris.

I lost in like hmmh…5 mins flat (Don’t you dare question my skills!!!!I blame it on the fact that I was lying in bed, and I had no socks on and it was a bit hazy in the room…) well looking back I see that I lost because I misjudged in different situations not only the shape of the piece coming in but also the space it was trying to come into… lost? Bear with me for a second.

A 4 piece square was coming in and not paying full attention, I tried to insert it into a 3 block space…impossible or a full knowing that a piece was too small I would try and “luck” it into a space too wide and even though it would go I n, I still had a gaping chasm I had to fill. OK...OK I know you are asking is there a point to this…

Well this is about my heart…..
I see things the way my eyes can see them, I have no super human power but a whole body of wicked flesh. At times, I struggle with doing things my way and when I finally do so, I am left with a “lost Tetris game” so to speak…let me explain... In the first situation, the hole was too small and this reminds me of my heart in so many ways. God is the potter shaping my life…shaping it through furnace and fire into an image more and more like my lord Jesus Christ. There are still so many things in me that still need to be removed in order to be who he wants me to be. Habits that still need to be prayerfully taken away (temper, lack patience…etc). If I or even God himself was to bring a man into this neatly packaged mess I call my heart, there would be no room for my knight because there is still so much junk to be moved out. I would be asking him to move into a space he would hardly be able to breathe in because of my unwillingness to wait till the mess was cleared. At the end of the day, not only would I be hurting him, I would be hurting myself and God’s will for my life.

In the second situation, the piece fit but there was still a space not yet fulfilled. There are times, when I feel frustrated and low in spirit (wedding season blues)… when I “feel” that a man would fit perfectly into my life… (I see a few ladies nodding) but in moments of clarity I know that even though he would fit, the space also known as my heart, I would be unsatisfied still because I am not finding my joy and comfort in God but in a mortal man like me. A man who could (by no purposeful intentions) let me down at any time. I need to rest in God letting him be ENOUGH for me. I need to humbly cry that if he makes me single for the rest of my life; his gift of salvation and the fact that I will see him face to face on day is enough.

“Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind stayed on thee because he trusteth in thee. Trust in the lord for ever, for in the lord Jehovah is everlasting strength”
Isaiah 26:3-4

Now unto God who can judge not only the pieces coming in but the spaces they are coming into…I give my love story to write

…musings from on top of the potter’s wheel

THE GIFT OF THE WORD

2007-08-13T13:37:00.001-04:00

"In the beginning the Word already existed. He was with God, and he was God. He was in the beginning with God. He created everything there is. Nothing exists that he didn't make. Life itself was in him, and this life gives light to everyone. The light shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it."
…John chat 1 vs. 1-5 (NLT)

The word of God has been a lot of things to me in my lifetime. When I was a child, it was an interesting novel that I would hungrily devour in order to add to the numerous books I had already consumed; but also like the other novels, as soon as I closed the page, I forgot it existed. As I grew older, it became almost a horror story (I always skipped the book of revelations) foretelling destruction that would come upon me if I did not change my ways (change them how?) From there it became a chore!I would open it every night grumbling under my breath at how tedious this book was and how I could be doing more fun things at this time.

Then came salvation and the realization of what it was knocked me out completely…

I think Paul explains it better when he said:

“Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now.”
…1 Corinth. 13 vs. 12

Before I was saved, I only knew the word in part, I rightfully knew it spelled destruction for those who didn’t know Christ and I also knew that it was something I should read daily but the part I was missing was the LIFE it gave.

Let me try to channel this into something understandable…

God’s word is Christ and Christ is alive; therefore Christ is the living word. The words we hold in our hands in the form of the bible are the verbal words that God sent in the physical and human form of Jesus Christ. If we understand this fact, we will understand the power we are privy too. When we speak scripture, we are speaking life itself.
I recently learned the action of praying the scripture and it has been a powerful experience. I get the chance of speaking the words my savior spoke and as I pray them to him, my heart is renewed because God said

“So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper [in the thing] whereto I sent it.”
…Isaiah 55 vs. 11

And

“For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven.”
…Psalm119 vs. 89

If this is as true as I know it is, when I pray the word of God, I am in accordance to his will and if I pray according to will; it will definitely come to pass. That’s why memorizing scripture is invaluable to the Christian walk. When temptation comes your way and you speak 1 Corinth 10 vs. 13, understand that it is his words and not yours because of this fact alone, you can receive help through it; after all he said his words won’t be void. When in times of sickness, praying Matthew 4 vs. 23 gets our lord’s attention. This is not to say that our simple words do not yield results (our Father hears every prayer) but just that we should not overlook the multifaceted blessings the word of God represents in our lives.

“Make me understand the way of your precepts; so shall I meditate on your wonderful works.” …Psalm 119 vs. 27

…musings from atop the potter’s wheel

STORMS

2007-08-12T21:18:00.002-04:00

2 corint. Chpt 7 vs 8-11

8 I am no longer sorry that I sent that letter to you, though I was sorry for a time, for I know that it was painful to you for a little while. 9 Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to have remorse and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. 10 For God can use sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin and seek salvation. We will never regret that kind of sorrow. But sorrow without repentance is the kind that results in death. 11 Just see what this godly sorrow produced in you!

Wow! Have you ever experienced this: You have read a bible verse a trillion times but when you venture to read it for the trillion and one time, BAM! It knocks you out? Well that’s what happened to me this morning when I read this bible verse. This is Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians and he starts chapter 7 by talking about the 1st letter he had written to them. It was a letter of chastisement and although it hurt them, by the time the second letter rolled around, a change of heart had overcome them. They had repented and turned back to God. In this bible verse, Paul is saying that although he originally felt bad for sending that painful letter, he no longer was because of the change it had brought about.Now let me tell you the revelation I got from this scripture… Everyone goes through trials and hardships and it could be a method through which God converses with you. If you are in one today, this scripture is especially for you. Close your eyes and imagine God saying these words to you.

“My child, I am glad I sent that trial to you, not because it hurt you but because the pain caused you to have remorse and change your ways! I want to talk to you through this trial; I want to teach you through this trial, I want to prepare you through this trial and I promise to love you through this trial. I want your eyes on me because there is no other way. Though this hurts, know that you are in my arms and I will never leave you nor forsake you. When this trial is over, just wait and see what fruits will be produced in you… JUST WAIT AND SEE!”

No one likes trials and they are never fun. To be honest, it was a major trial that kept me from my blog for almost a year but I have to testify that the words found in these scriptures are true. Although this last year was one of my roughest, the fruit it produced has drawn me closer and made me more like my Savior. All I can say, is Jesus is Emmanuel (God is with us) and when the pain gets too much for you to handle, when the nights seem to last too long…Hold ON to him.

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

STORING MY TREASURES...

2006-10-18T14:52:00.001-04:00

Sorry i have been gone for so long... my blog has been on my heart greatly but just to make sure that the outrageous amount of money my parents shell out yearly doesn't end up as waste, i had to take an impromptu hiatus.
Its funny, well ...ok.. not really.. but on monday, i was in my school library at about 11.00 pm reading up on drugs i will probably be recommending for a good portion of my life. All of a sudden,I looked up at my fellow colleagues and wondered to myself "if judgment day arrived right now, how many of us will be in heaven?". It was almost midnight ( some of us got to school as early as 7am) and we were still here on this hamster wheel of continual brain overloading. For some reason, this really frustrated me because i knew as a christian,all this was meaningless. Dont get me wrong, i know my calling is medicine but truth be told, if i dropped dead (maybe after a marathon of painful studying),this degree that a lot of people envy me for will not bring me a single step closer to heaven.
I get so caught up in this school thing that i at times ( i confess shamefully) that i dont even have time to read my bible! Solomon hit it right on the nail when he said all this world has to offer is "vanity upon vanity".

i need to keep my eyes on the invisible, i need to keep my eyes on the goal of heaven. everything i will ever need has been given to me the day Jesus died on the cross for me. Salvation is the greatest thing i can ever hope to achieve and i need to give it its rightly due of being my priority in life. As long as this is my objective, wether i can properly diagnose acute nephrotic syndrome in 5 mins flat or not doesnt really matter.

Ecclesiastes 12:13"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this [is] the whole [duty] of man"

... musings from atop the potters wheel

MY TONGUE, THE ALAKOBA

2006-09-06T03:10:00.001-04:00

James chapter 3 ( King James Version)

My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.

2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.

4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.

5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:

8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.

10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?

12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.

14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.

15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.

16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

... TO BE CONTINUED

...musings from atop the potters wheel

A SONG FOR EVERY SEASON

2006-09-03T17:35:00.001-04:00

Music is a wonderful thing... many books of the bible like Psalms and the Song of Solomon show that God delights in music especially songs that are directed as praise to him. Psalm 40:3 says " ...and he put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God..." and Psalm 47 is a whole chapter on the power that lives in musical praise. We have all been there... you are having a rough day; be it mentally, emotionally or spiritually and all it takes is one song... one song strategically placed by the love God has for you; and you are sailing on the highest cloud. The bible says in Psalm 22:3"...O though that inhabitest the praises of Israel" so if God lives in our praise, I think it safe to say that he also lives in music that praises him. So if this is true, I find it a fact that Christian music that helps uplift my soul is God having a direct conversation with me.

Last week as I was packing my stuff to come back to school for another semester, I was feeling very emotional. Not necessarily because I was going back to school but more because this season of life has been more valleys than mountains. Even though I knew ‘tis was God’s will and that he is working to make me more like my Lord and Savior; I still couldn’t help but be a little down. Now this is where God’s greatness comes in… my itunes was playing and the next song that came on is a testimony by it self.

Some, if not most, of you are familiar with Mark Schultz (talk of being anointed!!!), well it was his song “Closer to you” that came on next and I felt God’s presence ministering to my heart. For the benefits of you my friends reading this, I am posting the lyrics to the song…

Lyrics:
Closer to me
I’m tired and I’m weak
And every breath within me
Is longing just to be
Closer to You
So I face the road ahead
Cause I know there’s no comparing
To what’s waiting at the end

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I’m smiling
After all I’ve been through
It’s cause I’m just a day closer to You

Closer to me
I hear You whisper in the wind
You say although my life is fading
A new one will begin
Closer to You
And I know I’m not alone
Cause I can hear You in the distance
Saying you are nearly home

And if they ask why I’m dancing
Though my days may be few
It’s cause I’m just a day closer to You
Closer to me
You’re in the laughter and the tears
Of the ones I leave behind me
Who have prayed me through the years
Closer to You
And I know it won’t be long
Until you’re coming down the pathway
And You take me in Your arms

And if they ask why I’m singing
Though my life’s almost through
It’s cause I’m just a day closer
I’m just a day closer
I’m just a day closer to You
Oh, to You

By the time this song was over (well I did play it back to back about 600 times), I found my head a bit higher, my soul a bit lighter, my peace a bit stronger and my heart more in love with Christ. Not because my situations had erased in the span of this song but because during this time, God reminded me of his love for me and how someday I would see him face to face and everything I ever went through would be a thing of distant memory. Actually come to think of it, standing in his presence; I probably won’t have any recollection of them at all.

…Musings from atop the potter’s wheel.

THE KINGDOM OF GOD SUFFERETH VIOLENCE!

2006-08-28T20:09:00.001-04:00

This world is definitely coming to an end. Yesterday while eating breakfast; i was watching the FOX NEWS and there was another hot debate about the seperation between church and state. The weird thing about this issue was that the person oposing the keeping of a picture of Jesus Christ in a school hallway was a Reverend himself. Ok, let me explain... A school has had a picture of Jesus Christ in its halls for a very long time, but now on of these organizations that tries to prevent religion in school is complaining that this picture traumatizes children of other religions and makes them believe that they and their religion are worth nothing. The man is an ordained reverend and he asks "Why can't other gods of other religions be placed there"... i am not all that surprised about the argument between church and state; it is an old story but this coming from a REVEREND???.... a reverend actually is opposing a picture of his "lord and savior" on national TV.... like i said, this world is coming to an end!!

...musings from atop the potter's wheel

NOT HERE RIGHT NOW, LEAVE A MESSAGE

2006-08-14T19:12:00.008-04:00

lord... i need a day off!!!!!!!!!!

"
by REHAM ~, on Flickr

Don’t we all feel like that sometimes...? Teachers get weekends and summers off, students get most evenings off and even doctors get at least 5 minutes for a quick shower (they normally multitask by showering and sleeping at the same time). It is a rule that we all need time to recuperate and regenerate. A time, I like to call my “vege” time, is my breaks off from school. As soon a I get home from the airport, I tell my family “listen up, for these 3 weeks…I don’t know my name nor do I want to know it... don’t look at me with a question, don’t come to me with a question and don’t even think of looking at me with a question. This is my off time…let me vege out.” It is funny to say the least but it also shows a core of selfishness that comes from the Adamic nature of us all. This is a very important topic that brings the question of Christianity and of whether we get to have time off from discipleship.

One of my favorite speakers, Joshua Harris, the senior pastor of Covenant Life church in Gaithersburg, Maryland gave a sermon a few months ago about Christianity and the sinful desire for “time off”. It really opened my eyes and got me thinking of how God desires for us to shine in this world of darkness all the time without ceasing.
As a Christian we need to walk the narrow path which means excluding a lot of things our flesh “oh so desires”. We view the life we are called to live in a different light, but at times this is a real struggle to maintain.

Here is an example; your sister/ friend/ not so nice roommate needs help, she has to catch a bus and for some reason has lost her wallet. She comes to you for help and unknowingly is asking for the same $10 you were just planning to spend on pizza/ shoes/ new Avalon CD/ cool T shirt. Now automatically you might want to say, “ sorry I can’t help you out” but you cant seem to get the words out your mouth because the scripture Matthew 34:40 seems to be blocking the words. More than ever, you want a day off. Where you can say “I wont be a Christian today…just for this one day, I will forget that I am supposed to be radiating the love of God and indulge in my flesh” but do we as Christians have this “luxury”?? God says pick up your cross and follow me… not pick it up but when your arms ache throw it down and go for a coffee coolatta… he says pick it up till the finish line, till he gives us rest in his bosom.

Ok… some of us are real generous with material stuff but this can still relate to the emotional side of not wanting to be our brother’s keeper. My roommate is the sweetest girl but I need to wake her up EVERY MORNING for class… it gets tiring to my flesh at times because I think” hey…why can’t she wake me up in the morning…why can’t I have the luxury of waiting till she wakes me up in the morning before I stir”. This may be wanting a day off but this is also a sign of selfishness

We are called to be selfless children of God and to radiate his love to the world but when we feel this task of being like Christ is becoming a burden, we lose sight of what who we really are a Christians. Jesus carried his cross to Calvary with his calling in mind…lets do the same

“…see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently” I Pet 1:22

…Musings from atop the potter's wheel

HOLD ON

2006-08-05T11:37:00.001-04:00

Nancy Leigh Demoss, what a wonderful woman! I subscribe to her “Revive our hearts” podcast which focuses on attaining biblical womanhood and achieving the most as a daughter of God. A couple of months ago, she had a series based on the book of Numbers and the Israelites post exodus journey through the wilderness. We all know that God made them wander through the wilderness for 40 years for their sin but Nancy revealed a deeper meaning to their wanderings.
I can personally testify that ABSULUTELY NOTHING catches God off guard and he is the master of turning the bad around for good. Although it might have grieved his heart that his children, who he had done so many miracles to save, were lacking faith in him, he decided to use this to bring about something greater: teaching them who he is.
The Israelites spent 40 years in the wilderness but the bigger picture is that God used those years to show them who he is. Through every trial, tribulation, victory and miracle, God showed them his personality and spirit.
Praise God…At the rock, where the water of Meribah came out…he was El-shaddai (the lord who is sufficient for the needs of his people)…he was Jehovah Ropheka (the lord our healer) when the Israelites looked upon the bronze snake…he was Jehovah Rohi (the lord our shepherd) when he guided them with a pillar of cloud in the day and fire at night. He showed them he was a jealous God when they often worshiped idols but also a merciful God when he always took them back.

How does this relate to us in our walk with God?

Sometimes God places us in certain situations to teach us who he is and show us another dimension to his magnificent holiness. I remember a time I was applying to grad schools. I applied to quite a number and one by one I started getting rejection letters…1st, 2nd, 3rd… this was my own personal version of being in the wilderness…just like the Israelites. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep thinking that God had abandoned me but now looking back, I see that he wanted me to trust him…to be still and know that he is God, a rewarder of those who diligently seek him and a loving father. At this time in my walk I was newly saved so I wasn’t all that familiar with what it meant to be a child of God. God in his omniscienceness saw this as an opportunity to show his love. Just when I thought it was over and that my dreams of school was shattered, Praise God…I got that acceptance letter and I learned one more thing of my loving father.

It was learning of Jehovah and his mercies that gave Joshua and Caleb the confidence to stand up against the other 10 tribes to declare that the land God was to give them was obtainable. They had personally witnessed how God had brought them out of Egypt, they had taken note of how he provided and had never left them. They knew him!!!

Trials are the hardest things to go through especially when in our remote knowledge; we don’t know why we are going through them. The nights seem the darkest and we are often tempted to ask if God has abandoned us. Pain is ugly and it has the ability to rip our hearts apart but when this pain is being used by the Potter to mold us, it can be used to achieve wondrous things… it could be his very tool to get us into the Promised Land.

So in times of need, in times of despair, no matter what it seems like; lift up your eyes to him and remind your heart who he is. Remind it of the many miracles he has done on your behalf, think of the walk he took to Calvary to ensure that you get to spend eternity in his presence. Remember…

“But they that wait upon the lord shall renew their strength: they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:31

…musings from atop the potters wheel